Scanda~Liz

I f'n love pandas and I hate pants. I'm about the size of a hobbit. Severely introverted w/a bitchy resting face. Midwest gal now livin in the south.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

I HAVE NO FUCKS TO GIVE.

Pa rum pum pum pum.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

So, what are we blaming on #millennials today?

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

Remember when this app was fun?

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

‘Small talk sucks. Tell me what deodorant you use.’ Is not a way to make mom friends at the park, apparently.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

I miss buying shit without having to subscribe monthly.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

Toxic by Britney Spears is my favorite song that accurately describes my relationship with my mother. #nocontact

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

Hey, wanna talk about our traumas?

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

People who repeatedly post on FB for suggestions about anything and everything, HAVE YOU HEARD OF GOOGLE?!

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

@str8upjuggahos This is me: Liz has left the chat

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

How is there always one person in every group chat who clearly hasn’t read anything the rest of us have been talking about?! Scroll up and read before asking questions, loser.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

@ShirtPantsJones It is ALWAYS Tristan’s mom. What a mess.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

I need a vacation out of my head.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

Eating is like a hug for your mouth.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

I wish I could go back in time and smack the shit outta my 22 year old self for saying I was tired all the time.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

Ma’am, it’s 8 am, the lobster ravioli talk needs to halt right meow.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

Related, no one wants to hear you watching videos on Facebook guy next to me.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

At what age do you stop giving a fuck about the volume of what you’re watching on your phone in a crowded lobby?

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

The first rule about crystals is you must talk incessantly about crystals.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

@Amiigat Thank you so much!

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

@str8upjuggahos Thank you so much!! Feel free to hug a panda today in my honor.

[Scanda~Liz @thisislizz]

I’d like to start a friendship matching app that helps introverts find an understanding extrovert friend who drags them to events so they don’t become complete hermits.