Matthew Thomas Hess

Just embarrassing myself daily.

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@earth_to_aj Nah I'm good. Thanks for asking.

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@earth_to_aj No

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

Sparta kick it immediately https://t.co/vPkiyZJ5M0

[ryan @Ryface]

Getting mean mugged by an infant

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@SofiRyanxoxo Dirt birds

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@xstaceyxlaceyx What are you talking about, knees feel like heaven 🙄

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

I appreciate a good Linzer torte every now and then.

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@jessieslife miss you

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

and it sounds like complete trash sex. so maybe its for the best if you lose that three pump chump.

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

to my lady neighbor upstairs; i think your dude is cheating on you since i hear multiple female voices often and lots of sexy time.

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@KleioValentien YES

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@LucyEverleigh where you at? let the sushi flow

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

Thugs need hugs too.

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

All I need in this life of sin, is about 45lbs of barbecue and all the sweet tea.

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@jenna_valentine of course. Just put them all inside me

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@jenna_valentine where are the from i need them now

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

All these girls with boyfriend jeans but no boyfriend

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@RubenWontBreak yes! I am making an ostrich backpack right now too.

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@RubenWontBreak honestly, for pretty much the same price you can get something completely custom with python or croc. All sexy.

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@RubenWontBreak because it wasn't made by me.

[Matthew Thomas Hess @thisismatthess]

@AjCalderon @jenna_valentine @UnderwearWolf @ICECREAMxBANDIT I don't think I'm allowed in Estonia..