Writer of totally pointless twits, er, tweets. Really, they're pointless. Just like most other twits, er, tweets, except the pointlessness is intentional.
I've moved on from cursing with ice cream flavors to cursing with fonts.
"What the helvetica is going on here?"
"You can kiss my arial rounded."
"You're full of segoe."
"Why don't you go futura yourself?"
"You're a gill sans disgrace!"
Hey, @Bose , I think your unsubscribe function for marketing emails isn't working. I've done it three times in the last six weeks, and I still get marketing emails.
When I go to unsubscribe, it says I'm already unsubscribed.
@PalmerCandyCom1@Instacart And another by the way, for @BrachsCandy.
What possessed you to have a dozen varieties of Candy Corn (yuk) which are also sold by various other companies, while discontinuing the unique Maple Nut Goodies product?
That's just insane.
Hey, @amazon, you need to stop posting deceptive and dishonest ads when someone searches for a discontinued product.
The search term was "Brachs Maple Nut Goodies". But they're discontinued. They don't exist. You can't buy them anywhere.
This ad on Bing implies that you can.
And, by the way...
Coblentz Chocolate Company
@PalmerCandyCom1@Instacart
... advertising something as Maple Nut Goodies when it's just peanuts dipped in cheap, maple flavored coating is also dishonest. Real Maple Nut Goodies should have toffee made with peanuts on the inside.
This crazy lady who, likemany others in tech, is convinced that people just looove subscriptions (instead of hate them, as almost all of us to) explains her delusions here:
https://t.co/BQwiw3moAU
Being CEO sometimes means completely deluding yourself about what users & customers want. Exhibit A: this CEO says people will pay a subscription fee for... a mouse.
Supposedly a very durable mouse, w/ software updates. As comedian James Gregory often said, "I don't want that."
@ILoveBlueBell My favorite flavor of Blue Bell period is Milk Chocolate.
Sure wish the distributor would put some in my grocery store in Brentwood, TN. Have not seen any in at least two years, and I check the freezer every time I'm in there.
Today's quiz:
Two of these bands will be appearing at Nashville's Ryman Auditorium in the next few weeks. The other three are fictitious. Can you tell the difference?
Owls in a Row
Trampled by Turtles
Snarky Puppy
Beluga Bastards
Crabs and Crackers
Hey, @Windows, can you tell me how to get this garbage off my screen?
And could you, please, I'm begging, stop putting crap like this into every open space you find? Just stop. You're suffering from Horror Vacui. You need to cure it.