Rossana Woo

non meat eater | closet crocheter | sometimes poker player | karaoke singer | mrs. to a mister | mother to a daughter | reporter of poker | snapchat: woow00000

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

I feel like moms always being extremely proud of their child even when they're adults is because at one point, for many months, they shit in their pants and then one day they shit in the toilet. #pottytraining

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

Costco shoppers: if you see a car waiting for you to leave, it's probably a safe assumption they will need that cart as well - no need to haul it away and waste both our times :)

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

So you think you're tough? Try getting bit by a toddler on the arm (or leg, or groin, or belly, or face, or neck) and not make a sound or react in any way, so as not to reinforce the behavior. #shebrokeskin #ithurtssobad #halp #toddlers

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

Can the CDC just release the virus and start the zombie apocalypse already?

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

"I can't tell the difference between an avid Pinterest user and a hoarder" -my husband after correctly not throwing away a wine cork

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

Dark at 5:30pm? Yup, still hate this day. #dontcarefortheextrahour #daylightsaving #depresseduntilmarch

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

I legit thought the World Series was an international baseball thing #baseballn00b #worldseries #whyisitcalledtheworldseriesthen

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

Successfully transferred a sleeping baby from the car seat to the crib. I feel like I have life and the universe all figured out.

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

Today marks 15 years of explaining to people where I get my protein from #veggieversary #vegetarian #tofuandnutsthankyouverymuch

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

Watching the #WSOP #mainevent simply because Benjamin Pollak is hot af #frenchsuperman

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

@KidDuke10 I just saw this lol and congrats on winning the package thingy!!

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

Why does every children's book I read to my daughter make me cry?And why does my daughter laugh at me when that happens? #tearjerkers

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

my daughter's first words so far have been "meh" "bleh" and "gay". apparently i gave birth to an apathetic teenager...

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

so either someone got fired for giving warren beatty the wrong card, or someone got promoted for coming up with that publicity stunt #oscars

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

i dont always hire housekeepers, but when i do i awkwardly avoid them by going from room to room pretending to look busy #firstworldproblems

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

clean your house, eat noodles and dumplings, and wear red underwear tonight! happy lunar new years eve! #lunarnewyear

[Jane @janedeals]

This week’s giveaway = every momma’s dream… a $500 gift card to Fawn Design! Wanna win? Enter at {https://t.co/g7w0BUPYXz}

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

you know your makeup skills have gotten better when your mom asks if you secretly got a nose job #thanksmom #justmakeup #nocontoureither

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

just realized the story of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer is a low key story about bullying #whytheygottahate

[Rossana Woo @thisisrossana]

somehow managed to wash the television remote along with the sheets. yup. #pregnancybrain