Laury Owens

FIU Law student suffering through the Miami life - Finding irony in the cesspool #Downisnotup

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

@ReallyAmerican1 Bearded clam

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

@PawlowskiMario @ProjectLincoln

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

Since graduation regalia is just an elaborate moomoo does that mean that all men who participate in graduation from FL public schools & state colleges will be dressed in drag at state sponsored functions?? 🤔 #Drag #Dragshow #DeSantisDestroysFlorida #SayGay #LBGTQRights

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

Dear Republicans,

No one is teaching your kindergartener “CRT”.
No one is telling them to be ashamed of their whiteness or “grooming” them to be gay or transgender.
And no one is encouraging them to identify as furries.
People are lying to you.
In order to scare you.

The end.

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

@LeadingReport Y’all posting here gung ho on this you don’t even know what you’re hyped up about. You need to go read first, like the actual literature on or anything related to the invalidity of this, and IDK, science? Anyone? Bueller? FFS 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

@marcmaron Long time listener, first time writer. My grad level paper is on stand-up comedy, what you can/ can't do, ramifications of not playing along & how time has changed that. Would you be willing to be interviewed? #boomerlives

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

Note: You don't need a bad acid trip to have mind bending thoughts, extreme paranoia, or not sleep and look like you just woke up with Rip Van Winkle, just go to law school. Side Note: Acid is way cheaper #LawSchoolLife

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

The upside-down that is Miami:
Trip to drs in Miami Beach:
Route 1: 9.5 mi, travel time: 47 min
Route 2: 17 mi, travel time: 30 min
Moral: If you want to get somewhere the shortest way possible in Miami, you could likely run there faster than you could drive. #hexedinthecity

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

@Lolthien @NPRWeekend May the odds he ever in your favor - or not. If you like Reece’s, you’ll be fine.

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

@NPRWeekend #weirdsnacks any decent hot chocolate mix poured into a bowl, add peanut butter, mix well. Enjoy.

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

@Lolthien @NPRWeekend Just the powder and the peanut butter. 🥜

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

@cResources @NPRWeekend Lol I’ve been known to add it. Makes for a great breakfast 😊

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

@buterus_art @joncoopertweets Unfortunately, it’s not against the law here. It’s covered and allowed by “free speech.” 😞

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

I realized today why scented candles are so popular: Because the people who mostly buy them are a generation raised on scratch ‘n’ sniff stickers and scented markers. We’ve just upgraded to something more “mature.”

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

Join me and make a gift to Rollins Fox Socks #RollinsFoxSocks https://t.co/Ld35kayIWF

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

@williamlegate Yes, but we haven’t gotten to the length of the constant sleeping with one eye open, & nearly all the U.S. was on the same side. Oh and there was seemingly more diplomacy. I was young, maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t recall the Russian leader being such an egomaniac. #TheMerryMinuet

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

@Verizon Yeah because every women opens the door to a cable guy she’s not expecting/doesn’t know AND lets him in her house? #donttrythisathome #getyoselfkilledlikethat #BeSmartBeSafe

[Laury Owens @thisriss]

@Verizon @VerizonSupport @vzpublicsector let’s talk about the Verizon home wireless commercial. What sane woman opens the door for a cable guys she’s not expecting/doesn’t know and then lets him into her house??? #Getyoselfkilledlikethat #settingabadexample #donttrythisathome

[HexedInTheCity @OnLaury]

#1 look up pic framing shops nearby #2 read reviews (closes @ 7, it’s 5, there’s time) #3 get in car and drive 30 min to go 5 miles #4 arrive at 5:30 - store is closed. OPEN sign flashing in window. Repeat 3 days later. Same result. 🤔 I must be missing something #Hexedinthecity