Thixton Plornby

this account is all sad tire

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Who is @LeoLulu_XXX

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

@MrCyber78151160 Here for you

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Counting to 3 before a selfie. How about die. How about you’re too old to have a phone. We all know what we’re doing here awkwardly holding each other. Don’t count to 3!

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Well that was the worst golf I’ve ever played. Sorry teammate

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

I want to play fantasy football this year. Would be my first time ever

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Officially quitting fast food. Every time I eat it my ass turns into the slushie machine

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

I’m done getting angry when I see fat people wearing clothes that they spill out of. I now look at them and feel bad that they are gaining so much weight so rapidly that they can’t buy bigger clothes fast enough. Might start donating to the fats

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Chicks will meet for the first time and have nothing to say and one will find out that that the other is going to Europe soon and then the other one will say some dumb shit like “I will literally come visit you”

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Got my attention. But if they jumped off the whole world would be talking about it.

[Fox News @FoxNews]

BREAKING: Two people have climbed to the top of the Empire State Building in New York City, holding a banner from the skyscraper's antenna reading, "When the power of love beats the love of power, the world knows peace."

As of now it's unclear how the pair reached the top of the building as police work to get them down from the spire, 1,454 feet above the ground.

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

I feed the stray cats on my porch. Been doing it for years. 1 cat has always been fearless (walk in house, walk past me) but not nice. Won’t let you pet it. Today I come home to it with a collar on now. Should I not let this cat eat here now that it is spoken for?

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Gpa, dad, son, and daughter pull up to the driving range. None of them dressed correctly. Within 2 mins son has smoked the daughter in the face with a driver. She’s screaming and crying and bleeding everywhere. Dad and gpa hustle to leave.
#shrink

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Everyone drake dissed should be thanking him. They’d have nothing to put out otherwise. Drake basically controls the music economy

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Some of the guys we idolize want to do things in their day to day that aren’t as expected as we think. Be yourself. Love yourself. Nobody became great being someone else

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Pitcher was dead on impact

[Mason Schweizer @MSchweizer68]

Couch walks it off with a two-run homer with two outs in the bottom of the seventh to make Marquette 4-3 winners

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Just had first sip of bourbon in a while. Also I’m acting cool tonight. Wrong pipe. Holy fuck I’m head over what’s for dinner in the hotel bar. Dad always said you have to take a second sip. Thinking about that second sip now

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Would love to Rodney Dangerfield (Caddyshack) this live band rn.

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

@MrCyber78151160 Technically this is porn

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Can’t believe I asked the bartender to put on college softball. End of the day I’m a sports fan. Also thinking about staying for game 2

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

@DoggyFerguson31 Wait bro is in?????

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

@MrCyber78151160 I stayed for 2… heading home now to think about going out some more

[Thixton Plornby @thixtonplornby]

Thought about going out. Gonna go out to clear my mind.