Thomas McFall

'So you let yourself fall in love a little bit and you got your heart broken. Serves you right for having feelings' - PC

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Guy in front of me on campus just HAD to flex his Apple Card while buying a $2 bottle of water.

He spent 5 minutes explaining to the cashier how exclusive the card is, how it works with Apple Watch, and how he's special for having one.

He goes to pay and the card was declined

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

I don't have it in me to this for a second time

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

It's just me

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Walls are closing in on me

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

I, in turn, will be ruining the life of Lauren Schotten by introducing her to Overwatch.

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Danny Engle ruined my life by getting me into Overwatch

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

*Danny driving directly into an oncoming SUV with high beams and flood lights on*

"Huh, it's weird I can't see right now."

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Danny Engle ruined my life by getting me into Overwatch

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Dudes be like "I'll never get over my ex 😔"

Bro, I assure you finding a white woman who has a poor relationship with her parents, unhealthy kinks, a mild case of alcoholism, and crippling insecurity issues that eventually lead to cheating is easier than you think.

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

A relationship should be 50/50

I show you my Overwatch Play of the Game clips and you be impressed and also interested

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Doing a Pokemon Nuzlocke with Zigzagoon is the funniest thing because anything a trainer throws at me I literally just send in a cracked out raccoon that is force fed Hyper Potions every 5 seconds to bite the enemy until they fall over

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Someone just told me at a wedding "Thomas, with your long hair and the suit you kind of look like a coke head from Miami Vice that gets gunned down by the police during a drug bust"

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

"He's probably talking about other girls in the discord right now"

The Discord:

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Me irl

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Me at work vs me when I get home

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

I spent hours of my life and went through thousands of pages reading a six volume series on The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.

The entire series can be summed up with "lmao yeah bro there were like a LOT of barbarians and they kept stealing things"

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

You guys remember when dudes in Middle school used to have something like this as their Facebook profile picture

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Currently eating at a hole in the wall restaurant and the water tastes like crime

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

He was unable to stabilize the political situation in Afghanistan, leading to a Taliban takeover of the country - that makes Sal tonights biggest loser

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Not a phone in sight. Just people living in the moment.

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

OnlyFans can now downscale their servers to a TI-82 calculator

[Input @inputmag]

OnlyFans is banning porn, the company announced today. It’s a surprise move meant to protect its partnerships with banks and payment providers. The platform will still allow creators to post nude photos and videos, but not any “sexually explicit conduct.” https://t.co/GPeYKxoeHE

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Man I can't believe Snoop Dogg lives like this everyday

[Thomas McFall @thomas___mcfall]

Time: 9:52 pm
Location: Dannys apartment
Status: Receiving in-depth, in person bong tutorial