Thomas Dorton

Knowing the mouse might one day block this account fills you with determination

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

@pitchfork I thought the Sunday reviews were for albums that you guys had never reviewed before? The Slider was reviewed back in 2006

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

I'm getting a $69 tax return #nice

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

People who make million-dollar bets and then try to get out of them when they lose tend to be people who don't have a million dollars @realDonaldTrump

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

Well, mbv just finished playing Soon, which means half the crowd has decided to bounce

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

@scharpling The Papa Roach basketball story was golden

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

@wxpn is cranking the best Elton John song #funeralforafriend #loveliesbleeding

[Alex Kramer @shamshandwich]

Super Mario Butt (1985, NES)
Super Mario Butts 2 (1987, NES)
Super Mario Butts 3 (1989, NES)
Super Mario Butt Land (1989, GB)
Super Mario Butt World (1991, SNES)
Super Mario Butt Land 2: 6 Golden Butts (1992, GB)
Super Mario Butt World 2: Yoshi's Butt (1995, SNES)

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

If David Byrne had an anime would it be called Stop Making Senpai

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

The Shape of Water is just a gender-swapped Ponyo #changemymind

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

Scrotal Recall

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

ACADEMY AWARD WINNER ROGER DEAKINS! EAT SHIT EVERYONE ELSE

[Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins]

https://t.co/GBKXCz7SKg

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

Maybe the Eagles took forever to win the super ball because they were told to fly on the road to victory and that’s not how that works

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

There’s a lot of people taking credit for the Eagles winnibg

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

What would be the proper spelling of a portmanteau of "knife" and "waifu"? #ddlc

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

@UnpluggedCrazy Five bucks says Zach Braff in real life didn't vote.

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

@ToastedSchizo @PaulSimonMusic Big ol heart eyes on this one

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

@wxpnfm is great because sometimes you find out Joan Baez covered Peter Gabriel.

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

My #NaNoWriMo2017 starter kit: a hangover, black coffee, pop tarts, and no idea what to write about

[Thomas Dorton @thomasdorton]

I'm just a simple country lawyer but I think @kcgreenn and @nedroid 's Back would make a great miniseries for Cartoon Network or something