Thought

[Thought @thought20007]

I only ever say “I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want” before I’m about to do something very childish.

[Thought @thought20007]

Every honey bee you’ve ever seen has never hurt anybody. If it stings you, you’re the first jerk its ever encountered.

[Thought @thought20007]

Teachers have to be in school from the age of 5 until they retire.

[Thought @thought20007]

Saying you can’t be sad because someone else has it worse is like saying you can’t be happy because someone else has it better.

[Thought @thought20007]

Dear, Everyone under six foot. The top of your refrigerator is dirty. Love, Everyone over six foot.

[Thought @thought20007]

I feel like bachelor parties would be better suited for freshly divorced men.

[Thought @thought20007]

I’m not an early bird or a night owl… I’m some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.

[Thought @thought20007]

When you spell ‘almost’ you use all of 'most’ and most of 'all’.

[Thought @thought20007]

“F*ck off” backwards just sounds like “F*ck off” with a Cockney accent

[Thought @thought20007]

If cell phones didn’t exist I’d have to buy a calculator, dictionary, gps, camera, flashlight.

[Thought @thought20007]

There’s an estimated 2 trillion galaxies in the universe. That’s 2.7 galaxies each, for every person alive. 29 billion stars, just for you.

[Thought @thought20007]

Water is a portal to a universe where you can fly but you can’t breath.

[Thought @thought20007]

No matter the background, it seems like every child has instinctively played “The Floor is Lava” and “Don’t Let the Balloon Touch the Floor”

[Thought @thought20007]

While watching Cops, I am forever dumbfounded by the amount of people that use their turn signals while running from the law.

[Thought @thought20007]

How does the the human brain ignore the second “the”

[Thought @thought20007]

One day I went out to play with my friends for the last time ever. None of us realised.

[Thought @thought20007]

A near death experience is like ding dong ditching heaven.

[Thought @thought20007]

Police should wear red and blue light up shoes for when they pursue people on foot.

[Thought @thought20007]

The WiFi can’t reach my room, but NASA can transmit data over 5 billion miles of space.

[Thought @thought20007]

The Hunger Games, Maze Runner, and Divergent series could all be meshed into one larger idea and still make sense.