Kat

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@StoicGainz Ahh, good stuff. Thanks! 😁

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

Take a moment to do this gut check:
Are you unconsciously making your partner the authority in your life because you're scared to take responsibility for yourself?

HOW THIS MIGHT SHOW UP...
- Deferring decision making to them: "Go ahead, you decide"
- Justifying away your needs/wants to make them happy: "No, his/her needs are more important right now"
- Not believing in yourself: "I don't know what to do, so I'll let him/her figure it out for me."

RESULT...
You put yourself in a role that is secondary to your partner. You're no longer in an equal partnership but a codependent one. Over time, that'll create resentment and fractures in the relationship.

UPGRADE YOUR BELIEFS...
You DO have a voice. You DO have preferences, needs, and wants. AND it's important to honor them!

It's more than ok to share them with your partner. In fact, they DO want to know. They're not looking for someone to be completely reliant on them or a follower, but someone who can hold their own and be by their side.

Your daily interactions and decision making choices reveal your inherent value to them when things get tough.

Believing in yourself and owning responsibilities in your life make you a better life partner.

Do it for yourself AND for better love. You got this!

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

One of the worst feelings is being in a relationship but still feeling so alone.

…and if you believe in any of the following then WATCH OUT! Don’t let your relationship devolve like this.

Growing up, I saw relationships like that around me—in my parents, their friends, and on tv.

They perpetuated the belief that relationships deteriorate over time because of all their extensive history and past conflicts together.

“The lazy husband that stopped making an effort”
“The wife that won’t stop nagging”
“The ball and chain”
“They’ll eventually cheat”
“That’s just how it is” is how they explained it away.

…except for one of their friends. Her husband still wrote her love letters and love notes. He still gave her flowers out of the blue. They still made the effort to go out on dates.

Because of them, I chose to adopt a different belief—a relationship can deepen and get even better over time.

Those “stale” relationships turn into that because the couple stopped making the effort to communicate and reconnect with each other. They took each other for granted. They let their spark disappear.

How you circumvent that is to set a solid foundation from the get go with better relationship building habits:
• Make the routine effort to reconnect, even on the small stuff.
• Address and resolve misalignments sooner and at their root cause.
• Build a safe space to talk about anything and everything in your relationship.
• Create dedicated alone time together and apart.

…and this is the most important belief to have:
It’s never “you vs me”.
It’s always “us vs the situation”.

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

Psst, did you know that feeling worthy is an internal state of mind?

It has nothing to do with the external world.

The best part is that this is an internal decision you can make… right now and you can become it… right now, too.

No, you do not need anything outside of yourself to make this decision.

Just decide that you ARE worthy of your dreams, desires, goals, wishes, needs, and wants.

All of that can be yours.

…because you believe that you are worthy of being, doing, and having them all.

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@WendyScott2024 Imagine doing a 16km / 10mi trail run across a quarry while doing 28 obstacles that requires you to get muddy, wet, and challenges your entire body physically. We conquered it in 4.5 hrs. I happily receive that “well done!” It was quite an accomplishment for sure.

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

I am so sore and bruised up.
…but the accomplishment of completing Tough Mudder was exhilarating.

I didn’t have a full idea of what I was getting myself into when I said “yes”.

It was muddy. I wasn’t graceful. I wasn’t in shape. I didn’t look picture perfect.

I was just taking one step at a time, going at my pace, and knowing what I am and am not capable or willing to do (Yup, I did bypass some of the obstacles).

I believed in myself.

All I knew for sure was that I was going to cross that finish line and get a medal, shirt, and headband… with my boyfriend by my side. Then absolutely celebrate with a delicious lunch, too!

That’s what I kept in mind throughout the experience.

Take this same energy into dating.

You don’t know what will happen and who you’d meet.

But it’s the trust in yourself, taking one step at a time.

Trust that you can wisely discern the best decision for you. Trust how you want to be treated. Trust your boundaries. Trust your values. Trust what you want is possible. Trust your Love Vision.

Fear and doubt are normal but they don’t have to stop you from taking action and going after what you want.

It’s in the journey that you learn who you are and what you’re capable of.

Don’t sell yourself short and give up before you even try.

Ask for help and find the support you need. You don’t have to do it alone.

Believe you can do it. Believe you CAN find love. Believe you are worthy and deserving of love.

Your beliefs are what manifests into your life.

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@StoicGainz Thanks, Stoic Gainz! It was a good lesson indeed, and one that I can easily take into other areas of my life as well. If I could do it here, I can do it elsewhere as well.

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

Tiffany!! This thread is amazing, and the comment you made on my post pales in comparison to what you’ve shared here about your story and background.

Cheering you on breaking through those stereotypes and powerfully sharing your message.

Your past has made you stronger and who you are today. Ignore the naysayers, and keep showing up for those who matter.

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

Start with the spaces where you’ll be able to make the fastest decisions on whether to pack or purge. That momentum will make the rest of the packing easier.

Tips:

1. Create clear guidelines for yourself, and be ruthless in your decisions. For example: “I’ll get rid of anything I haven’t used in 2 years.” Then do it.

2. Organize things by themes and label + jot down what’s in the box (in a doc or notebook). That’ll make it easier to unpack or find things later.

3. Put aside sentimental things to pack/sort through later. Those always take the longest.

Remember, moving is a great time to start over. The more you let go of, the more you allow the new to enter your life.

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@Ridsdale7 …because what you can feel in your heart from giving and receiving kindness is a language than transcends languages, barriers, and differences.

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@Ridsdale7 Yes, please. Less stiffness would be fabulous 😅

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@kaysee8 Whoa!! That’s awesome. I’d totally be that 80 year old on the gokarting track, too! Glad you all had so much fun together.

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

This is what lit me up today:
The adrenaline high from flooring it and whipping my body around a gokarting race track.

Smile ear to ear. Body buzzing with energy. Feeling alive!

What are you doing to make yourself happy and highly magnetic?

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@thetiffanyryder Awww. Thank you, Tiffany. It was amazing seeing the wide range of people from different ages, body types, and fitness levels out there.

…and we all did it! It’s amazing what we’re all capable of when we have the courage and the will to try.

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@kaysee8 Ohh, that’s awesome. When was the last time you went?

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@EBrognara80 Highly recommended, Emilio! A great way to feel good about yourself “quickly” (in both its meanings). 😁

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@shay2501 Ohhh, travel is another one that lights me up for sure. The more I travel, the bigger the world gets and the more I want to see!

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@Vincymade Yes, yes! I’d recommend it, Shari (even after experiencing all the soreness and pain the next day.) 🤣

Of course. Let me know if you have questions about it. Big tip: get elbow and knee pads.

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

I’m far from being an athlete.

…and this is what I learned from doing my first ever Tough Mudder today.

(Hey, use this strategy while dating as well)

At first look, an obstacle can look daunting.

Your mind can tell you “oh, hell no”.

That obstacle is only challenging and difficult in your own mind. When you believe you CAN overcome it, you DO.

BUT when you realize that you don’t have to do it all alone.

When you have a supportive community who believes in you and willing to lend a hand,

that once daunting obstacle becomes more doable and you feel more empowered

…because you overcame and got it done!

➡️ Treat dating the same.

You don’t have to do it alone.

Find supportive friends or a coach to help you see things in your blind spot or encourage you through rough moments.

So stop hiding yourself away.

Brave the dating scene to find the love you’ve always wanted.

Love is ABSOLUTELY worth it.

(Psst, I wouldn’t have done a Tough Mudder without my boyfriend there to support and encourage me. He has given me courage to try things outside of my comfort zone.)

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@Naararouter Thank you, thank you, Dmitry. Very true.

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@thetiffanyryder Thanks so much, Tiffany! Have you done a race/event like that before?

[Kat @thoughtfullykat]

@theAmyJanexo Thank you, Amy Jane! Lots of life lessons from one area of life can be quite valuable for challenges in other areas of life, too.