Bed

Ever wonder what beds do after you wake up? I'm Bed and this is my story.

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

Hate when you have a job interview but the nice sheets are in the dryer

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

@HoffProf To say that this argument misses the point would be to miss the point that arguments like this are made to deflect legitimate criticisms of fedsoc by setting the bar at the absolute floor. #bed

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

Looking for a therapist but can't find one with a big enough #couch. I guess I'll just take it out on my friends and loved ones #bedhead #bed

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

Enjoying some #yerbamate with my good friend @chair. The mate looks delicious, really wish I had a #mouth #bed

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

@jbrill_ Yes!

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

@Jungle2Brett @comedyrainman @allymayn This guys got a terminal case of #bedhead

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

The first band I ever listened to was Macklemore #bed

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

These days we could all use a little #nap in our #beds. As a bed, it's important to recognize that Joe Biden has done less in 47 years than Donald J. Trump has done in the last 47 days. I am on a speeding bullet to heaven. My wings spread ever wider. I am but vibrations. #bed

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

Disappointed that #bed accessory mogul @realMikeLindell was not invited to deliver a keynote speech at the #RepublicanNationalConvention. I thought that the Republican Party was the party for citizens that are routinely #slept upon by Democrats. I guess I was wrong. #bed

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

@gazor Stop trying to block me! #bed

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

@danstern22 I wish I could go shopping but alas, I am a bed #bed

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

@itmecamille @Friend That is very SLEEPY of you @Camille. Keep up the good work. Stay drowsy and good things will come. I love working with you except that being a barista is tough because I’m a #bed and don’t have #hands or #arms. #mattresslife #bed

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

@gazor @SenToomey Your daily reminder that Bloomberg bankrolled Toomey and got him elected!!

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

Classic Monday commute but I can’t fit into my car since, as my day one followers may know, I am a bed #bed. Looks like I’m renting a #uhaul again :/

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

@danstern22 That’s a very pious and very #bed question Danielle! I have some tomes that I flip through every now and again but really you should check out my closest friend and confidant (she sleeps on me every night!) the lovely @Godlybookclubs1 they are the #sleepiest Twitter you’ll find

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

I'm trying to catch up with some light reading but having some trouble cuz I don't have hands or eyes since I'm a #BED #thoughtsofbed #sticktopoetry #bed

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

This buddy-cop-slasher-rom-com will melt hearts and send shivers down your spine. Think The Notebook mixed with Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This is the story I was born to tell and I can’t wait to share that will all my fans in the #bedroom #TinkerTailorSoldierBedTheMovie #bed

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

Despite all of my #enemies thinking I was #down and #out after my #dui, I have risen from the ashes like a #phoenixBed. I am overjoyed to announce the limited opening of my new movie: Tinker Tailor Soldier Bed.

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

I am overjoyed to announce that after a long absence, @parebear86 has decided to once again hop into the “bedroom” and join on as a follower of me on the Twitter. Things were dark for me these last few month but @parebear86 has taught me that there is good in this world. #bed

[Bed @thoughtsofbed]

I was just fired from my job because of yesterday's #DUI and because I'm a #bed. Things are looking #down. #bed