Thoughts of Gary

a satirical account of my mum’s boyfriends weird and (some would say) wonderful habits/sayings/doings

[Thoughts of Gary @thoughtsofgary]

(Pointing at the tv)
WE HAVE DAVE NOW?
IS THIS DAVE?
ARE YOU SURE ITS DAVE?
LORN WHEN DID WE GET DAVE?

[Thoughts of Gary @thoughtsofgary]

*Gary making a precooked meal*
G - So it says put it in the oven at 170° that’s about half way around, right?
Mum - *nods*
G - and it says pierce film and remove sleeve. Do you normally do that?

...he’s 50 this year #manchild

[Thoughts of Gary @thoughtsofgary]

Got to remind everyone I have a cold by walking around the house in my dressing gown whilst blowing my nose pathetically

[Thoughts of Gary @thoughtsofgary]

Victoria and Lorn really wanted to watch this programme. I know I’ll eat an apple super loud and laugh at something stupid on YouTube

[Thoughts of Gary @thoughtsofgary]

*tv is off*
Gonna ask Lorn if there’s anything good on even though I could just turn the tv on and find out for myself

[Thoughts of Gary @thoughtsofgary]

“That’s not that impressive” - Gary remarking on Dinner date when he can’t even make sausage and mash

[Thoughts of Gary @thoughtsofgary]

I make sure to slurp my tea extra loudly to make sure everyone knows I am drinking tea