It’s a beautiful morning here in Cali 🌴 shaping up to be 93° though, yuck. Thank God for beaches and pools. What about where you’re at, what’s the weather for you?
Nobody on here cares what I have to say or what you have to say. It’s just words on a screen. It doesn’t hold weight. We’re all irrelevant. Stop fooling yourself.
I can’t change minds that are committed to misunderstanding me…it’s making me sick trying…emotionally, mentally, physically. I’m putting down the gloves.
I was the one outed and their identity is being protected. I can’t even defend my character myself, imagine the game telephone and being in the receiving end of that narrative being mangled…yeah not a fun feeling, and yet I still try to show up and say let me prove myself
I constantly TRY to gain their respect, their approval. I’ve lowered my pride, I’ve said the “sorry’s” I don’t even feel I had to say to be “team her.” I asked the hard questions & to still be met with resistance & disapproval is heart wrenching when I just crave acceptance
I stayed true to my character despite no understanding of why I felt ostracized, I stayed true to my character when I felt the eyes and chatter behind my back, even without knowing their “why?” even when confronted I showed respect, to their disrespect, I’m not the problem
Maybe I was being a teensy bit dramatic, but when we’re hurt it feels like that’s the only wall in front of us. I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak but I’ve also experienced love that doesn’t fail. God forgive me for my disbelief 🙏🏼
Moving away from my emotional saga, right now, ‘cause I’m exasperated, I’m sure there will be more that unfolds, dw where I go the tea seems to follow, never a dull day around here 😅
I realize I have followers but I don’t feel like anyone’s listening and that’s kinda nice, nobody to tell me I’m saying it wrong…cause clearly that’s what I do, I just fuck things up. So it’s nice to just word vomit to get it out of here 🧠
By no means am I condoning yelling. I’m just sayin’ it’s still communication. It’s still saying there’s something to fight for. Obviously in a perfect world your nervous system will be regulated but some of us are stuck in fight or flight, so we’re fucked & not in a good way
It’s always one step forward, two steps back. What if your fears and hurts are causing you to see things from a jaded perspective? When people are talking or even yelling there’s hope…but when silence surfaces that’s usually the start of the end ❤️🩹