Nickalis Jablonski

Exploring new frontiers in Jungian psychology, and how to make the most of archetypes in life and love

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@ByzantineBarbie I think they get overwhelmed, yes. And the first thing they tend to sacrifice is their appearance/sensuality

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

Don't define yourself by what you suffered. It only keeps your consciousness fixed in that place

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

The only rule in dating is that everyone is an exception

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@musestoomuch Cheating is all about emotional satisfaction, and has almost nothing to do with looks in and of itself. You never know who might do it just based on them being hot or ugly

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@graveunfurling You've got a bit of that Genghis in you

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

I think every woman wants to be seen as hot and sexy - especially after childbirth. You don't have to tell them to do it; you need to encourage them and make them feel safe to express themselves in that way

[Pat Stedman | Dating & Relationship Coach for Men @Pat_Stedman]

This is one of the biggest own-goals women routinely make in their marriages that kills passion and creates resentment. And people wonder why problems start to creep up post-kids.

Yes, there's a context to how you should dress. Maybe don't take the mini-skirt to the playground. Save it for date night.

But when new moms decide to permanently and totally eliminate their identity as a sex object, they are telling their husband on some level they are no longer going to try to please him. He doesn't get to have the "hot girl" anymore, even though THAT is what he married.

You might think this is just superficial. But since clothes reflect identity and vice-versa, when a woman stops dressing sexily, it affects more than just what she wears, but how she relates to her sexuality altogether. So inevitably the laziness creeps into the bedroom

I've said this many times before, but one of the major reasons sexual quality and quantity declines after kids is the identity shift women generate around their own "sexiness" after becoming moms. They no longer seek to be desirable, and since female sexuality is based on this, their drive declines in turn. Rather than accepting they can be many things, and simply emphasize one or the other in different contexts (like how you have one role at your job vs one with the kids), they decide unilaterally the girl he loved is gone and he just has to accept the new one

It's amazing so many women do this when THEY are frustrated their husbands - who used to go out, have fun, and "do cool things" - now just work all the time. It's really not any different. You are becoming boring and unattractive, and wonder why the relationship is suddenly suffering.

It shouldn't need to be said, but if your spouse is sad about the fact you are changing something that doesn't need to be changed, maybe don't do it.

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@alasky__ Your best bet is to look for one who is 80% of the way there, and just needs help with their style/looking hot, and maybe a bit of encouragement to be confident socially

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@literally_chad I think you're right. When you're around the right kind of woman for you, she will be "submissive" like the religious guys say, but it'll be completely natural. Like she will just accept pretty much whatever you want to do with a smile on her face.

It shouldn't be a struggle

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@BradleyGrey_ True. Seems to be a product of focusing too narrowly on the good things of the past, and missing the legitimate reasons why people moved on from it.

Ideally, we synthesize the good parts of religion with the good of modernity, and build something more complete

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@LibellulaVati You know someone is right for you when you both naturally encourage growth in each other

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@theralkia I think, as a collective we're at a stage of grappling with the Anima/Animus and many are struggling with their projections in this regard.

It's like Pandora's Box was opened, and we're first seeing all the negative things that were released, but the positives will come later

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@lizisamused The way it should be

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@lizisamused Have you ever considered making flirting advice for women? I think you'd be good at it

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@cremedupepe That sounds like a healthy mindset to take in general

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@Vicky I think there are broad stages of consciousness, and NPC describes those at lower stages. Doesn't mean we shouldn't try to help them though

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@cremedupepe Hmm you're not the first person to say something like that. What do you find draining?

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@moejomma @cremedupepe I hope that you will find someone that sees your full value and wants the relationship just as much as you do

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@LisaFenDragon Ok, fair enough

[Nickalis Jablonski @throneofanima]

@moejomma @cremedupepe Sorry you've been through that. What do you think brought out that fear in you?