Jaden

God First. Lawyer, and Car enthusiast

[Eng. Karis | MSC | @Briankariu]

United opposition should hold a press conference, and repeat this verbatim.

We have to be petty na hawa watu

[Mwango Capital @MwangoCapital]

Kenyans: We are feeling pain & are struggling to meet our daily needs

The government and its advisors:

[Duke Mtambo @dukemtambo]

Dawa ilipenya wasee😂 Rob Finnerty finally made his apology on air to the people of Nairobi and Kenya at large. Chesaa!

[Mwango Capital @MwangoCapital]

EPRA is going to increase fuel prices today:

[Kipkalya Kones @MrKipkalya]

Sifuna: We will run a country governed by the rule of law.

Ruto: Huna akili. Which country is run like that?

Sifuna: A 12-floor block makes no sense in a village set up where lifestyles are rural and chickens and other domestic animals dwell side by side with people. Besides, these houses have no social amenities.

Ruto: Wewe ni fala baanaa!

Sifuna: We will scrap the Housing Levy, seal wastage in government, block State House from consuming billions in mandazi and draw a balanced budget within 15 months, so that we return money to the pockets of ordinary citizens.

Ruto: Mr Empty! Mr Shiny things! Mr 40!

Sifuna: I swear to you that I will never send the police to kill your children! If you build beautiful roads and magnificent stadia, how do they benefit Rex Masai and Albert Ojwang, whom you have murdered in cold blood? We must build these shiny things in a just, free and democratic atmosphere where all countrymen can enjoy them ALIVE.

Ruto: Wewe Mr Extortionist! Governors wanakulilia!

Sifuna: OK, so can these alleged Governors now come forward and make the accusations themselves?

Ruto: Abujubujubuju!

Sifuna: The success of SHA can not be measured by the number of people registered on it, but by the quality of services it offers and availability of these services to the most vulnerable.

Ruto: Umetumwa na sponsor! Uko down! Uko down banaa!

Sifuna: If you are distributing employment letters to your friends at State House, the rest of the country that you have marginalised has a legitimate responsibility to send you home and install a government that will accord EQUITABLE opportunities to all and reset the nation away from your kleptocracy.

Ruto: This can't be you speaking! It must be Uhuru Kenyatta!

Previously on this show, Ruto had incessantly said "Sifuna hana agenda". But as we can see, Sifuna actually drops snippets of his governance agenda and policy positions daily, while Ruto rants angrily, shouts on the microphone and sounds like a broken 1982 Sanyo Cassette player.

Ruto ako down kama mchanga ya kaburi.

[Edwin Sifuna @edwinsifuna]

Is he done ranting about the 24K I pay for his housing scam because kuna hii 43k I pay every month for his SHA scam we also need to discuss. Tukimaliza hio ndio tuongee juu ya the 500k in PAYE he takes every single month and splashes on tea and mandazi pale state house all the while insulting us the taxpayers that carry the burden of his greed. In 2027 we are cutting the fat out of our budget to bring relief to all Kenyan workers. The housing levy will go with Ruto.

[Thuranira @Thuranira_1]

2022 : Why have you not performed ?
Him : Uhuru Kenyatta.
2027: Why have you not perfomed ?
Him : Uhuru Kenyatta ofcourse.

[The Raila Odinga Amolo Foundation @RailaOdinga]

Mr Six months!

The youngsters you promised laptops 8 yrs ago are now old enough to see through your LIES.

The youth you promised 8 million jobs in 8 yrs can see through the WHEELBARROW lie you are now peddling.

It has been 8 yrs Mr 6 months and not 3yrs.

No Mr 6 months!

[🇰🇪 James WaNjeri @JamesKWaNjeri]

When Ngong Road was built, plans included a footbridge near Talanta. The footbridge pillars were built, and then the site was abandoned. Now, the footbridge will be tendered again in time for AFCON. The money that was already paid for it will disappear like that. Fuata nyayo

[Edwin Sifuna @edwinsifuna]

By the time I learned Mudavadi and Weta were less inspiring than a boiled egg and a packet of Mala I had not even met Raila. For them to claim it is Baba who has taught us to disrespect them is utter rubbish. Respect is earned. They haven't earned mine.

[Cerebral Assassin @xysist]

Scandal pekee wanasema ako nayo ni ati he likes women and takes alcohol.

Shida ni pia sisi kama his voters hizo ndio vitu tunapenda

[art ¹ @ditt421]

kim kardashian vs isack hadjar when lewis hamilton retires

[Calebo @CalebGirango]

The biggest mistake Ruto ever did was to chase Burundians na walikuwa wameshikilia economy ya kahawa. Nakunywa kahawa ya Kang'ethe hapa. Imepikiwa Nairobi lakini sukari imerushwa kutoka Mount Kenya. Mandazi ni size ya Samosa na ndani ni Akili ya Duale. Ruto must go Akii.

[acce @accekid]

"Are you able to work under pressure"

Me who used to write the homework while the teacher is collecting it:

[MOSET @KeKirwa]

In Uasin Gishu county, the governor couldn't account for 424M shillings when he appeared before the senate. 424 Million Kenyatta shillings bruv. We're very unserious in this country.

[Moe @moneyacademyKE]

Kenya’s road construction fell 62% under the current administration, with 2,584 km built between FY2022/23 and FY2025/26.

This compares with 6,813 km built in the previous four years.

[miya @miyarah_]

cuando abro el examen y es exactamente lo que estudié la noche anterior

[tj @crazytoqether]

why the hell are netflix originals leaving netflix

[Brian Mbunde ™ @Brianmbunde]

Sakaja anadhani hii ni Ai.

[MUSYOKI @KE_musyoki]

Uhuru froze logging in 2018 after cedar and the water towers were being stripped. Cover rose. Ruto lifted the freeze in 2023, promised 15 billion trees, then watched government-forest timber sales quadruple in a year. Seedlings for the camera. Logs for the mill. That is not a climate plan. That is a contradiction.

^MP 🎗️ 🇰🇪