If you’re nervous about going back to school find an unsuspecting classmate and touch thumbs with them, the nervousness will transfer to them via osmosis - Professor Alkirk McDoogal
Yo peeps of the hot now, y’all know dat burning sensation you got going on, it ain’t anything dope, don’t not slather some of that sun sizzle cream if you wanna remain cool, dog - from your friendly neighbourhood healthmeisters
ME: Joe, about halfway through the speech, I’m gonna wish you a happy birth--
BIDEN: IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!
ME: Joe.
Happy birthday to @JoeBiden, my brother and the best vice president anybody could have.