thysam

[thysam @thysam101]

Bout to heat my home using dryer exhaust until they make tv show about me

[thysam @thysam101]

Just got my clit pierced at Claire's, feeling kinda funky

[thysam @thysam101]

Thinking about buying one of those computers. I file taxes, they say you can file taxes on one of them

[thysam @thysam101]

Just bought some banana testosterone from a talking cat. Man am I feeling good!

[thysam @thysam101]

@carlsmeyer I added you

[thysam @thysam101]

Ordered some ear wax supplements from this country called turkey to go in my ear, should keep them more waxed. They come in tomorrow

[thysam @thysam101]

@carlsmeyer @PlayOverwatch Mood

[thysam @thysam101]

Do you guys chew your toothpaste before swallowing or don't chew and swallow whole like an owl

[thysam @thysam101]

Laffy taffy just canceled me because instead of the taffy laughing at me, I laughed at the taffy

[thysam @thysam101]

@CaptEpicFail1 Oh, I put it back

[thysam @thysam101]

@CaptEpicFail1 I understand. I did the same thing to my great cousin (twice removed)

[thysam @thysam101]

Just saw my cat eat with her butt wiping hand. I told the Lord about it

[thysam @thysam101]

I brought a fork to a knife fight while inside a giant microwave. What is your next move?

[thysam @thysam101]

About to start throwing my empty liquor bottles away in the work trash to cause drama

[thysam @thysam101]

@BarackObama don't listen to all those mean things people are saying about you. To me, you are an almond in the rough

[thysam @thysam101]

Looking for a reputable bladesmith who can make me a knife from my baby teeth. I don't have them yet, but I had my lawyer send the fairy something about getting them back so I should have them soon

[thysam @thysam101]

Where can I buy those tests that test how wet your brain is

[thysam @thysam101]

I love amairica

[thysam @thysam101]

In honor of the fourth, tonight I'll be out in my car driving around, waiting for people to light fireworks, then flattening those fireworks with my car

[thysam @thysam101]

Currently having that problem where I worry that my cats are just muppets since I have a hard time discerning real life vs muppet