tiff

hi I’m a mom and I’m very sleepy •she/her•

[tiff @tiffistrying]

So many cheeses would work as baby names:

Brie
Asiago
Monterrey Jack
Goat

[POLITICO @politico]

Justice Department publishes documents with sexual assault allegations against Trump https://t.co/SND4ETBm2s

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

Conservatives backing themselves into a corner where they have to pretend to be excited to watch 55 year old Kid Rock on their phone at halftime tonight is funnier than anything we could say or do to them.

[K A C E Y @KaceyMusgraves]

Well. That made me feel more proudly American than anything Kid Rock has ever done.

[tiff @tiffistrying]

Hey have y’all heard of this restaurant called the Cheesecake Factory? Pretty good.

[tiff @tiffistrying]

Question for the republicans: Do you have different eyes than the rest of us or is it your morals that are failing you?

[tiff @tiffistrying]

@LinaHidalgoTX Wishing you the best 2026!

[tiff @tiffistrying]

Help. My 4 yo son is too woke. He thinks everyone at this wedding is getting married to each other.

[tiff @tiffistrying]

@Vhoyde What’s stopping you from keeping a family together yourself?

[tiff @tiffistrying]

Yes but only bc the doctor didn’t believe her!

[Skulking Churl @Tetrahymenidae]

Me: I think I got Cutiepie Syndrome, Doc.

Doctor: I keep telling you… That is NOT real.

Me: Please, you gotta help me.

Doctor: *turns to You, the viewer* Did you imagine me as a “man doctor” while you were reading this?

[tiff @tiffistrying]

Having a kid is cool bc sometimes they are like “wait mommy I want to know what color your eyes are. Oh! They are brown and green. Like me!”

[tiff @tiffistrying]

For months I’ve been tempted by the Devil’s mistress (little Debbie Christmas trees) at every turn in every grocery store. Today, after a sinful night of debauchery, I decide to give in to temptation. But lo and behold I can’t find a single box. This is how I know there is no god

[tiff @tiffistrying]

@xwanyex Taking care of dishes, laundry, school paperwork, meal prep, grocery shopping, etc are not motherly instincts. Adults who are not mothers do these tasks, too.

[tiff @tiffistrying]

My favorite genre of Spotify wrapped posts are parents whose children absolutely dominate the top songs

[tiff @tiffistrying]

My 4 yo has been telling me stories and saying “my old age” and I didn’t know what he was talking about until he finally pointed at an old photo of himself… “my old age” means the age he used to be 😆

[tiff @tiffistrying]

Found this review of McDs years ago on g**gle maps and thought it was both funny and beautiful

[tiff @tiffistrying]

Mentally I’m here

[tiff @tiffistrying]

Sorry but my fico score is none of my business

[tiff @tiffistrying]

Tootsie rolls are so weird wth was that yeah I’ll have another

[tiff @tiffistrying]

My kid has the gene where soap tastes like cilantro

[tiff @tiffistrying]

Yellow is the green of the warm colors