Conservatives backing themselves into a corner where they have to pretend to be excited to watch 55 year old Kid Rock on their phone at halftime tonight is funnier than anything we could say or do to them.
Me: I think I got Cutiepie Syndrome, Doc.
Doctor: I keep telling you… That is NOT real.
Me: Please, you gotta help me.
Doctor: *turns to You, the viewer* Did you imagine me as a “man doctor” while you were reading this?
For months I’ve been tempted by the Devil’s mistress (little Debbie Christmas trees) at every turn in every grocery store. Today, after a sinful night of debauchery, I decide to give in to temptation. But lo and behold I can’t find a single box. This is how I know there is no god
@xwanyex Taking care of dishes, laundry, school paperwork, meal prep, grocery shopping, etc are not motherly instincts. Adults who are not mothers do these tasks, too.
My 4 yo has been telling me stories and saying “my old age” and I didn’t know what he was talking about until he finally pointed at an old photo of himself… “my old age” means the age he used to be 😆