Natasha

[Natasha @tillycakess]

@Andy (From Miami) Why is Kyle so physically aggressive with Sutton? She doesn’t seem to have this problem with any of the other women. Why does my child better understand that it’s not ok to put her hands on others than Kyle does?

[Natasha @tillycakess]

I walked into this Total Wine at 4:55 on a Friday and grabbed a CART. What makes you think I need help finding anything?!

[Natasha @tillycakess]

If you’ve ever had a question about whether I’m crazy...
I just yelled “I don’t need you! The ocean is my husband now” at @danklimpel

[Natasha @tillycakess]

For years I’ve argued:

shower wine > shower beer

but the truth is that Bath Whiskey is where it’s at

[Natasha @tillycakess]

I need the name of @daddy_yankee dermatologist and/or whichever Orishas he’s making sacrifices to. Not a wrinkle to be found on that man’s face.

[Natasha @tillycakess]

It’s a little unsettling how much unsolicited advice people give a bride about peeing.
Haven’t I been doing this for 30 years? What kind of nightmare scenario are people envisioning?

[Natasha @tillycakess]

“It smells like fish, right? It’s not just cause we’re talking about pussy?”

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

To quote Alan Moore: “None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with YOU. You're locked up in here with ME.” 🤣

[Natasha @tillycakess]

It’s 52 degrees and I just walked across New Orleans by myself in short shorts and flip flops...People are WORRIED about “that cold lost little girl”

[Natasha @tillycakess]

If you, like me, are feeling really down about the Kavanaugh appointment, watch Mandy. It’s a nice reminder that some people get punished (by Nic Cage) for doing bad things to women.

[Natasha @tillycakess]

Why won’t @danklimpel just let me walk down the aisle to an 80s horror punk song about children who kill their parents?

[Natasha @tillycakess]

@__jessicaaaaa @HuffPost That’s too many

[Natasha @tillycakess]

“Wedding Dress shopping” is just a euphemism for hanging out with a stranger while wearing only a thong and a pair of heels

[Natasha @tillycakess]

“I would rather marry you than die”
@danklimpel’s super romantic wedding vows

He still has a healthy fear of me and I’m ok with that

[Natasha @tillycakess]

Me: I had to stop because I felt like it was making me aggressive
D: Yeah.
Me: Yeah?! You think I was aggressive? (Asked aggressively)
Then he just smiled and kept drinking his coffee

I’m not mushy but thank god I found this guy because who else would put up with my crazy?😳😳😳

[Natasha @tillycakess]

I’m convinced that @yolakin was talking about Make it or Break it on @worsteverpc this week but now I need to know who she was supposed to play

[Natasha @tillycakess]

I think I love Vita Vea

[Natasha @tillycakess]

@___cass There was champagne and diamonds...

I’m rethinking it right now

[Natasha @tillycakess]

@___cass be careful what you volunteer for. I am currently sitting next to my future husband who is yelling “Fuck Dwyane Wade” and I’m debating calling the whole thing off

[Natasha @tillycakess]

@___cass short answer: yes
Long answer: we can’t formally book the open bar until we decide on a city/date/venue

You’re the professional...do this for me?!