Tim Collis

A Michael Scott Joint

[Tim Collis @timcollis_]

How could you possibly walk into a pet store, see a tarantula, and be like yeah I'm takin that shit home.

[Tim Collis @timcollis_]

@POTUS end the shutdown you bitch

[Tim Collis @timcollis_]

Might just fuck around and go see Aquaman by myself

[Tim Collis @timcollis_]

Hard to explain to people that I genuinely enjoy being alone

[Aaron Slone @AaronSlone9]

Bad things always happen to the coolest fucking people

[Tim Collis @timcollis_]

I feel like I live on an alien planet when the moon and sun are out at the same time

[jas @jasblevins]

unpopular opinion: black coffee is better

[Tim Collis @timcollis_]

I absolutely love being in a fast food drive through and telling my mom to order me something that doesn't exist

[Peyton @delome10]

Girls be crying over a dude who reads at a 3rd grade reading level. He’s not ignoring your text, he’s sounding it out. Give him a second.

[Tim Collis @timcollis_]

I don't trust people that trust Donald Trump

[Tim Collis @timcollis_]

Margs with mom has become a Sunday ritual

[The Marvelverse @themarvelverse]

The first trailer for Avengers End Game has finally dropped

[LILAFRIMANE @LORAFRIMANEE]

pull the lever, kronk

[Tim Collis @timcollis_]

My kids will never believe I had to text Cha Cha instead of using Google

[Tim Collis @timcollis_]

Girl was rubbing hand sanitizer on my hands at work and sarcastically asked why my right was softer than my left

[Tim Collis @timcollis_]

@Kpat_17 Lmao gross guy

[Tim Collis @timcollis_]

If I'm ever that old man who blows his nose in a handkerchief and puts it back his pocket, please run me over.

[Remmy @RemmyBux]

That’s the extended family now