Tim Durden

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

Btw this is coming from someone who doesn't own a red shirt. So I can remain objective in all this

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

All of fashion is really just a response to red shirt &jeans. Red shirt& jeans is fashion at its most fundamental, most concentrated point. It’s the outfit by which all others even make sense. Red shirt &jeans give rise to the very paradigm necessary to contemplate fashion at all

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

I’ve always cherished the small act of rebellion that is discarding an item in the register line. For those whose final impulse is frugality while staring down the barrel of 100 years of shopper mind hack store design. For those who give in a place expertly engineered for take

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

How are you supposed to say vase? Is it vase? Or vahhz? And how am I supposed to know when to use which? Or, don’t tell me… is this some British bs… because now is really not the time

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

Wanted posters and missing person posters are really technically interchangeable. We just decided one meant bad guys and the other beloved abductees

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

If a single cig takes off 11 minutes of your life and a hotdog takes 36, it would take 805,734 back-to-back cig & hotdogs to end it all right now assuming I was gunna live til 100 years old on the dot

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

Being asked your favorite bagel flavor and saying “Im a poptart man. Cinnamon.”

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

Phone’s so dry Instagram started notifying me about reels I “might like” as if “liking” them had anything to do with it. It’s an addiction. I’m not scrolling because I like reels, I’m scrolling because I can’t stand everything else.

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

The clip of a clipboard on the ground.. effectively turning the entire world into a clipboard

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

Sitting next to someone who just said, “Remember when it rained 8 weekends in a row? That was comically funny.” I’m like, that's redundant dumbass. Having fun at the coffee shop:)

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

Waiting on a train for 22 minutes and disdaining the weasel that hops on at the last minute. You have no idea what we've been through. We might share a train but we come from two completely different worlds

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

Theres a whole culture behind liking oysters that scares me so I pretend to like them more than i actually do

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

You know thomas edison was a motherfucker bc imagine basking in the warm glow of a candle and thinking this should be a bulb

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

Is it called luggage bc u lug it… is that why…

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

I did good on some random proj at work and everybody kept complimenting me but then it got to a point where it was so many compliments i was like do u guys think im gunna kms

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

Got caught up in a major whirlpool after miscalculating the trader joes flow. Took one wrong turn in produce and was swimming upstream til dry goods.

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

Playing strip poker and going all in on the first hand

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

No dip, Sherlock. That’s why he smokes a pipe instead.

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

Deer hunting=bang for your buck

[Tim Durden @timdurden_]

I like linkedin telling me how many times I appeared in searches this week. "26 people looked at you and said no. In just 7 days. Congrats."