Yosemite Tim

Appreciate the little things because this life moves fast. My friends call me Quagmire & my dog makes all my important decisions. Giggity bitches....

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

I had to say goodbye to my best friend of 15 years. Not a day went by he was not by my side, and I am absolutely grateful for every moment of mischief he caused and the love he showed. Rest easy Bentley, you were the best Beagle anyone could hope for. Love you so much, pud.

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

@gtconway3d I’m sure today he would say that he was blocking the camera flashes. “Many people, many fine men said to me, with tears in their eyes; sir, these flashes are so powerful, how do you stand it sir?”

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

@BenDWalsh Aaaaand now I’m off to @5.11Tactical to buy a pair of pants that have a secret “ladder stowaway compartment“ to carry along with my ccw.
Things to bring to a gunfight:
1. Sidearm and extra mag
2. Flashlight
3. Blowout Kit
4 . Ladder for concealment/cover

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

@cnn @cnnbrk Texas has used mounted Border Patrol agents for decades. Look at the brush country of West Texas and you will see why. Stop acting like mounted units are only being used at Del Rio bridge and were only developed to control Haitian inflow of migrants. Simply not true

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

@laurenboebert @GregAbbott_TX Texan here. Since you’re so confident his decision is appropriate, and you’re so confident that you won’t get sick, I’m sure you’ll be donating your spot in the vaccine line to someone who feels they need it.

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

@GregAbbott_TX Texan here. This seems awfully suspicious the week after CPAC, considering the remarks made about Dr. Fauci and masks. I’m sure you have all our best interests at heart. Just like you did letting your buddies at ERCOT run and supervise themselves. Well, that turned out great.

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

@laurenboebert @GregAbbott_TX Texan here.Before U get all God bless TX, have U even spoken with front line workers like doctors, nurses, EMS crews to get their opinions? Have you thought about what they’ve been thru this past year only to have the rug yanked out from under them AGAIN because of politics?????

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

@GregAbbott_TX Texan here. This seems awfully suspicious the week after CPAC, considering the remarks made about Dr. Fauci and masks. I’m sure you have all our best interests at heart. Just like you did letting your buddies at ERCOT run and supervise themselves. Well, that turned out great.

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

JOE DIRT.............
I AM YOUR FATHER......
#maythemulletbewithyou ⁦@DavidSpade⁩

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

MAURY: “In the case of the paternity test of JOE DIRT the results are in.
TED CRUZ..............
You ARE THE FATHER!!!”
#knewitallalong ⁦@DavidSpade⁩

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

Hey ⁦⁦@SenTedCruz⁩. Before you start running your mouth off this next re-election about your TX values and how tough you are. Remember, during this crisis, real Texans stayed put, they checked on neighbors, strangers and each other’s livestock. WE DIDN’T RUN.

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

Hey ⁦⁦@SenTedCruz⁩. Before you start running your mouth off this next re-election about your TX values and how tough you are. Remember, during this crisis, real Texans stayed put, they checked on neighbors, strangers and each other’s livestock. WE DIDN’T RUN.

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

Who set the President at the kids table for Thanksgiving?????

[Team Trump (Text TRUMP to 88022) @TeamTrump]

President @realDonaldTrump delivers a #Thanksgiving message via video conference to members of the U.S. military

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

Why is it the ice cream man can rock his shit as loud as his 1992 Pioneer audio can play it? But I get all the looks if Lil’ Wayne is too loud?

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

Today my best friend of 27 years went over the rainbow bridge, and I’m broken. I like to think that now he is out of pain, and has clear streams to drink from and green meadows to graze and run cattle till I see him again. Love you Son.
#LexSmokeyKing #AbsoluteUnit #AQHA

[Rodeo Life Problems @rodeolifeprobs]

I miss that feeling when you’re 14 hours into the drive, 2 Redbulls down, living off of beef jerky and sour candy, you’re blaring rock music and you hallucinate an armadillo leading your truck and trailer through the desert.

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

The Karen by which ALL Karen’s are measured.

[Todd Spence @Todd_Spence]

If there were ever a KAREN: THE MOVIE to be made, I nominate Laura Linney to play the titular role

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

If Joe Dirt and Joe Exotic had a love child....... https://t.co/NMw6EgXzQF

[dalle @dalle_rutledge]

I know my twitter following isn’t big to someone but it kind of is for #AgTwitter and I want to use it this morning to get the word out that there is NOT a shortage of meat or milk! The packers and stores are using this gear tactic to drive up prices for their gain. PLS RT.

[Yosemite Tim @timmywenzel]

@MrTbone1965 @JLazySAngus Very kind eyes. That was always a thing with my grandpa when looking to get another horse, this one certainly has them in spades. Also, for what it’s worth, He swore that the longer the eyelashes the better the mothering instincts on Charolais cattle. I miss him so much.