Timothy

This is my masterclass.

[Timothy @timoteee]

Having burrata and salami at 2am is a vibe.

[Timothy @timoteee]

If I did, resuscitate me with McCoke and not a defibrillator.

[Timothy @timoteee]

@AmericanAir amazing to have a typical 6 hour journey turn into a 68 hour nightmare of an experience with aircraft malfunctions leading to being stranded at a leaking airport and very poor hotel accommodations with broken AC and long lines…

[Timothy @timoteee]

My guilty pleasure is a grocery tub of macaroni salad.

[Timothy @timoteee]

The goal is to have ozempic allegations.

[Timothy @timoteee]

I just drove to the gym and then drove right back.

[Timothy @timoteee]

Change is for the better FASHO.

[Timothy @timoteee]

Love it when you dig into a rotisserie chicken and now your entire hands smell like one...

[Timothy @timoteee]

My kryptonite is a chopped wedge salad and a Diet Coke.

[Timothy @timoteee]

I miss Popeyes.

[Timothy @timoteee]

You’re ever only one decision from an entirely different life, as I order another mcchicken.

[Timothy @timoteee]

My American Dream is being on cruises for the rest of my life.

[Timothy @timoteee]

My exclusive country club is called Costco.

[Timothy @timoteee]

Should I get a 9-5 job or ozempic?

[Timothy @timoteee]

My 2024 goal was to have a thigh gap but the minimum order of wings here is 18…

[Timothy @timoteee]

I just want to live in an area where I can have a Costco hot dog every day.

[Timothy @timoteee]

Somehow tried flying back to the Bay Area but my luggage ended up in Las Vegas, guess my tshirts tryna double down…

[Timothy @timoteee]

People are running actual marathons today while I'm just having a food marathon instead...

[Timothy @timoteee]

Sundays need to be longer...

[Timothy @timoteee]

My favorite pastime is buying a salad at the grocery store only to throw it all away one week later…