Timothy Suchomel

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

When you wake up and you're already pissed off...

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

Danielle - "I'm not trying to be funny, but doesn't cum taste like pancake batter?!"
@WatersGrant this is your girlfriend lol

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

Me -"Grant is not a sweet guy"
@WatersGrant -"until I put sugar on my dick!!"
#mybestfriend #shithesays

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

"Are you tired?" = the nice way of saying "you look like shit!"#thoughtilookedgoodtoday #thanks

[Steve G @tweetsteveg]

Just sat on the toilet for half an hour watching @ericthecarguy put the finishing touches on his t5 transmission lol.

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

Friend - "you make it hard not to fuck you!"
Relation - "well I don't"
#myfriends #shitmyfriendssay

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

And this is why I don't tell people shit. Always backfires

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

Toasted BBQ with provolone/cheddar sandwich with fresh tomatoes, avocados, lettuce and dill… https://t.co/ixGIeXDOWF

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

Fucking Erik. And he thought I wouldn't post this lol #wigger #whatalame #myfriends https://t.co/xJwkAR948X

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

Me - "So I'm just a 2?"
@KMuk11 - "no not at all... You're a 2.5"
#fucker #myfriendsopinions

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

BAE and I getting ready to snowboard https://t.co/LZI4fE3pno

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

I can't decide if it's creepy or not that my phone knows where I work and how long it would take… https://t.co/r9NDOWuVfH

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

So I wake up in a strange house and the person that brought me here is nowhere to be found. What a good friend.

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

This bitch trying to be cute when he's drinking. Obviously I wasn't having it #justonemore… https://t.co/a9dvkgExJD

[Timothy Suchomel @timothysuch]

What color is mahogany?
@KMuk11 - isn't it an orange color?
#really #wheredoyoulive #myfriends

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

When a girl says "Do what you want"