Tim Cheng

I should quit school and become a Poke'mon master...

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

I don't even care about my foot hanging off the bed anymore, come get me demons.
Bring me home.

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

Waiting at McDonalds for 11:00 to hit so you can buy lunch instead of breakfast #firstworldproblems

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

If you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter well then I've got some news for you.

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

Eating an orange is just like drinking orange juice with maximum pulp. 🍊

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

Are lobsters mermaids to scorpions?

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

26.09.2015. - One of my best friends got married last night and it was pretty awesome... CLEARLY!!! 😍… https://t.co/EZOj9wNOtr

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

What if sleeping is our natural state, and we only wake up to acquire new ideas for our dreams?

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

Fire trucks are actually water trucks.

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

And God said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came in fifth and won a toaster.

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

The coffee and smartphone are the modern day version of the cigarette and newspaper.

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

They are testing the resourcefulness of my inner 90s child from my pre-Internet days. They will not win. #grabsapuzzle

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

Internet and TV are down in my house. Must. Not. Panic. #thanksTELUS

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

sleep goals 😴 @ mah bed https://t.co/n07KPBuGp6

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

There are only 2 days in your lifetime that are not 24 hours long. O_O

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

Do fish know they're wet?

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

The Devil does not come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

It's beginning to look a lot like #Christmas ❄❄❄ #ChristmasTree #winter #yyc #HappiestTimeOfTheYear… http://t.co/ePGJF0G8Pd

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

I've never gone skydiving, but I have zoomed in on Google Earth really fast. @googlemaps #rebel

[Tim Cheng @timtimcheng]

Got @ShaniaTwain on the brain today!!! #ImGunnaGetchaGood