Tim Loftus

Kiwi-Canadian, adventure-parenting practitioner, zen philosopher, and planet Earth advocate.

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

850 Americans died of COVID-19 yesterday.
None got the special “antibody cocktail.”

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

I’m Joe Biden and I approve this message.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

There is life on other planets.
And it's intelligent.
And that's why it's not coming.

[Reuters @Reuters]

.@AOC nominates Senator Bernie Sanders for president of the United States 'out of the love for all people' https://t.co/8mtXh0wSov

[Chlöe Swarbrick @_chloeswarbrick]

Aotearoa New Zealand is officially COVID-19 free, with no active or new cases. We did that.

[Adam Parkhomenko @AdamParkhomenko]

pass it on https://t.co/b2qiyfQ778

[Randy Rainbow @RandyRainbow]

Shouldn’t this f*cker be busy making a vaccine?

[60 Minutes @60Minutes]

Peter Daszak is a British-born American PhD who’s spent a career discovering dangerous viruses in wildlife, especially bats. In 2003, he warned 60 Minutes a pandemic was coming. Two weeks ago, NIH funding for his virology research was killed. https://t.co/dnEmFCF1MI

[The Tonight Show @FallonTonight]

🎵 Teachers should make a billion dollars 🎵 #TeacherAppreciationWeek #FallonAtHome

[Alan Watts @AlanWattsDaily]

Unless human beings can accustom themselves to the idea of being in a state of leisure, they are not going to be able to adapt themselves to the economy that they themselves are creating.

[Monica Lewinsky (she/her) @MonicaLewinsky]

i don’t have kids and this is the funniest i’ve seen in awhile.
😂😂😂

[Javed @PastTenseOfJav]

Grabbed a beer at the airport. A lady’s pouring herself a wine, I wait cause the bottle opener’s front of her.
Mid-pour, without even looking, she hands me the opener.
I say thanks, crack my beer, look up.
Turns out that lady was our whole ass Prime Minister.
What a fuckin G

[Tim Loftus @timtomloftus]

@HaikuGeek Your prejudice of ChCh is ironic. It’s the most diverse and welcoming place in NZ. Also, tell your “outdoorsy” husband to research the Crater Rim walkway, Godley Head track, Bridle Path and Rapaki... for starters. Then the Adventure Park or a paddle to Quail Island.

[John nugent @John_K_Nugent]

Now that’s how you celebrate winning the open. How was your head this morning ⁦@ShaneLowryGolf⁩ 👍👍

[Tim Loftus @timtomloftus]

@golrizghahraman @sarahhbickerton @mcquillanator You’re a revered and celebrated kiwi, thanks for your leadership and for smoking out this snake from his hole