Carly Hoshaw

she/her

[Kelsey @NelseyKelso]

Mr. @NoahKahan if I win the Ticketmaster war to get to the Toronto show I will name my next child after you or you can name it. From a sad MI mom who didn’t get a MI tour date. #thelastofthebugs

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

@NelseyKelso @NoahKahan @NoahKahan

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

@NelseyKelso @NoahKahan I’m the sad mom’s best friend and I will name my next dog Noah or you can also pick that name too. Whatever you want. You can pick the bug tattoos we are planning on getting as well. It’s your world we’re just living in it.

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

Hangovers are not cute and fun anymore. I feel like my entire Saturday was ruined. And for what??

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

When boomers get a thick, wet cough, why is their first thought “I think I’ll go out in public and open mouth cough all over the fruits and vegetables at the grocery store.”?

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

few times a year, I get an intrusive thought of this moist, sopping wet chocolate cake they served in the dining hall at the culty christian summer camp I used to work at. It pains me that I will never have it again, and it pains me that I worked for a cult.

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

Spotify change that fuckass logo back right now omg

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

I love chugging a coffee before a flight. Will I poop my pants in the terminal? Pee my pants on the plan? Have a panic attack from all the caffeine?? Maybe all of the above? Who knows!!!

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

fffffffffffffffffffffffuck I love Harry Styles. Fuck. I LOVE HARRY STYLES.

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

The funny thing here is, if we take you at your word, you’re basing all of your constant commentary on this situation on an objectively wrong understanding of what happened that could be corrected by watching the video all of the rest of us watched.

I think it’s more likely that you’re just lying, but either way it’s astounding.

[Jameis Winston @Jaboowins]

“The horse is prepared for battle, but victory comes from the Lord.” - Proverbs 21:31

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

Get him out of the booth holy fuck

[Big Choctaw @Derekalexander_]

no noise november. everyone shut up

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

About to piss off the townies at this bar and fastpass Taylor Swift on Touch Tunes all night.

[ivy ☁️ @cowboylikeivvy]

“she’s nothing like ophelia” wow a girl can’t even say she wanted to kill herself anymore because of woke

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

“Nazi” isn’t a slur. It’s a word that describes real people who earnestly believe in their ideas. Their ideas are disgusting and hateful, but of course they often do not realize it.

I keep running into racists who think that it’s not white supremacist to think that white people are inherently superior to other races. No…that’s the whole definition!! The fact that they believe it earnestly and don’t think it’s an idiotic, hateful belief doesn’t mean it’s not an idiotic, hateful belief.

Nazi isn’t a word that means “bad evil boogeyman” it means “someone who believes in their own racial superiority, extreme protectionist nativism, the purifying of society by eliminating undesirables, expansionism, active suppression of dissent, and total state power held in the hands of a very small group.”

Make sure the people you’re cheering for don’t believe these things because otherwise…

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

Maybe I shouldn’t have tweeted this. I’ll stfu next week.

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

Happy holidays! #golions #greenbaysucks

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

NFL REDZONE JUST HAD ITS FIRST COMMERCIAL (TERRIBLE. SO DISTRACTING!!!) I AM VERY SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING BANNING THEM FOREVER. TRUMP LET THIS HAPPEN. TOTAL DISASTER!! I, AMERICA’S FAVORITE GOVERNOR, GAVIN C. NEWSOM (MANY SAY “THE FIXER”), WILL CLEAN IT UP. ESPN, A GREAT AMERICAN COMPANY, STOP THE COMMERCIALS! THANK YOU!!! — GCN

[Carly Hoshaw @timwhoretons_]

Get Mr. Beast off my fucking tv oh my god.