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baby shrink

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its ok to be alone!! get ur money up and travel with ur girls!! while he stays the town joke exploring coochie, u explore croatia!!

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and the cheaters & homewreckers stay social justice warriors on IG

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if the d bad u gotta eat a couple nature valley granola bars in his bed after

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finishing residency before all ur friends sounds great until they all start saying “i think i’m gonna do fellowship.” brother i want first class to mykonos not another graduation ceremony

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hey sorry i have to cancel my niece is showing me her kindergarten school supply haul for the third time

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Oh the bridal party is gonna dance to kala chashma and bole chudiyan?? wow how did u guys think of such unique songs

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happy national girlfriend day to @squishfunny who’s prettier, funnier, and treats me better than every man i’ve ever talked to 💕

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they got QR codes for box tops now 😔automation has come for the elementary school hustle

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interior design marketing go crazy. they really calling stainless steel ~chrome~ thats a thali bitch

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that mf chia went from pet to pudding in my lifetime. aint nobody rebrand as good

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nightly routine: brush teeth, wash face, tell my mom she accidentally reposted another Instagram reel

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i think every ferrero rocher box in a desi household should have a tiny x sharpied on one corner. every time it gets regifted, you add another x. once all 4 corners are marked, the kids are legally allowed to eat it

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broke to attending physician money is crazy. bout to dry clean my shein

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i miss him (mall food court chicken teriyaki)

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son, the only true birth control is an ambitious woman

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the sexual tension between me and my indian doordasher both wearing sandals in february

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commenting “good shot bhaiya” on the pregnancy announcement

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mom spent the whole movie asking where Timothée was and when he finally appeared she sighed “he’s so cute” like a woman at peace

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My mom drawing the line at pre-cut fruit while ignoring the alcohol and assorted sins in my apartment

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You be tryna have a peaceful saturday afternoon and here come everyone with “its asking for a code send me the hbo code” #brokies #codecrackheads