TinyCaptainBobo

aspiring wife guy, amateur boof inspector, winner of nastiest nae nae 2019

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Top 6 moments in my life that perfectly synced up to a creed song:

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Yeah I'm 30 and I read out loud. Fuck it

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Just experienced ego death at the wing master

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Y'all mind if I become that which I sought to destroy?

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

They call me the mandolorian the way I gro and gu

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

The hardest part of my waffle house training was when we drilled on the Macedonian phalanx

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Cucks these days don't even eat your nut out of her anymore, now they just sit there and cry

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Bitch really said I loved you that's why I assaulted you

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Got ready for work today and had to pick the pants with the least blowed out crotch

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Shout out the chubby alt girl I was fuckin with in 2018, she gave me chlamydia but also put me onto pinegrove so I still think about her daily

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

I hit flow state at fogo de chao

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

I'm like Batman if he was fat and had no hoes and was just marginally middle class and lowkey stupid and only jerked off and played runescape instead of fighting crime

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

When you already 5 minutes late for work and that first wipe ain't have no friction at all

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Been reciting Macbeth to the stripper all night

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

They hate me at work for my glue on mustache

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Need me a bitch with a fat dick

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Look, sometimes you just gotta kill the dog. It's not like I'm gonna let her keep it after the breakup. And it has its whore mother's eyes

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Do not give me a magmar I will use him to cook rock

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Nobody's asked to see my id since the light left my eyes

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Working swing shift for the past 7 years has been great for my dementiamaxxing

[TinyCaptainBobo @tinycaptainbobo]

Jacking off before my prostate exam so I last longer