Hank

I was born in a third grade classroom. I molted. I am easily startled and always pissed. I enjoy eating decaying matter. I need my H2O to be 24 hours distilled.

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

@NickMcIlwain1 When I get too caught up worrying about what other people think...
https://t.co/PWi8fTKTEq

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

@prestonelliot Delayed response, but I went ahead googled rectal prolapse #neveragain #myeyes #justsaynotogoogleimages

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

@realDonaldTrump It’s also interesting that you played golf during funerals this week. #donotletthisgo #DoSomething

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

@realDonaldTrump But, what are you doing about the number of mass shootings in our country? You’re tweeting about the wrong topic. #donotletthisgo #DoSomething

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

@CSchwabby77 @realDonaldTrump @DHSgov And, when the armed guard or armed teacher shoots a student? What then? The solution to guns should not be more guns. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[The Preston & Steve Show @PrestonSteve933]

Can we get 400 RTs for our 400th #BizarreFiles Podcast?
(honestly we'll settle for 14) https://t.co/iWKjQ4C7n5

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

@DavidKHarbour Good Luck! Looking forward to your acceptance speech!

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

@SeanAstin Bob! #StrangerThings2

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

Did you know? Target built 12 play spaces in Delaware Valley. Tweet https://t.co/00NqDhpZwC

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

#AlexTrimboli we all know him; we all went to school with him #100% #11beers #samelabelallnight #AmericanVandal

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

@mattdamon_ @BenAffleck so typical of bully-pretending-to-be-angel boys. We see you. How 'bout them apples? #niceapology #Weinstein #urgross

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

@lenadunham @LennyDykstra Good move

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

@weatherchannel cannot change the channel #IrmaHurricane2017 #jimcantore

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

I just saw the weather guy use a dbag-o-meter on the @weatherchannel #hurricaneirma2017

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

#BER #Thenightbeginstoshine #teentitansgo trumped all of the other songs of the summer?

[Saturday Night Live @nbcsnl]

Take it from Tina Fey and get yourself a sheet cake. #WeekendUpdate

[Elizabeth Warren @SenWarren]

Someone was murdered at a Neo-Nazi rally today. That happened. In America. In 2017. It's time to make clear where we stand – all of us.

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

#me #tinymadlobster #FridayFeeling

[Hank @tinymadlobster]

So angry this morning that I am straight up refusing to move from my dirty tank to my clean tank. Now, I have two tanks. #tinymadlobster