TinyTittays

I like to shout 'LUMOS!' when I turn on a light. Yeah, well you wouldn't get it, fuckin muggle..

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

I'm alive, but I'm dead.

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

That face you make when you sneeze while on your period.

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

When you do anal on chili night.

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

@GideonJagged well if you're gonna do it.. Fuckin do it

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

Stirring risotto is like giving a hand job. I'm bored and my fucking arm hurts.

[Art E McFly @SabotagedSmoke]

Your chick has that "I've pushed a shit down the shower drain with my toe" kind of vibe.

We all see it.

[transfer portal taylor @bodybycheezits]

Please play Space Jam at my funeral.

[Baby Sumerian God @Ilovelamp1979]

If you see a dude wearing only an American flag speedo & doing karate on the side of the road, don't honk, I'm in the fucking zone.

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

The struggle is real.

[Goddess Of Mischief™ @AsgardianRose]

You haven't replied in 3 minutes.

Why do you hate me?

-Women

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

@ChiveFather hahaha this is my favourite response to a tweet ever.

[جســــار @Jassar_80]

Nancy Grace gives birth to a healthy baby can of Axe Body Spray.

[جســــار @Jassar_80]

please don't open up a new can of whoop ass when there is already an opened one in the refrigerator

[Abhorrent Housewife @abhorrent_wife]

I just want to be in shape enough to hand a toddler a baseball bat and get the hell out of the way before I get hit with it.

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

My sexual boundaries are as absent as my father. ;)

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

@kevin_charity where the fuck was this advice ten minutes ago?!?!

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

@kevin_charity I don't want to follow.. I just look every now and again. Goddamnit.

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

@Squeeb_Slayer fuuuuuuuuck. I know right. Dying.

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

@ChiveFather I am not a quitter!

[TinyTittays @tinytittays]

I just watched a porn, and this old man, and i mean fucking OLD.. had a butterfly tramp stamp.. I was so distracted, I almost didn't cum.