thirsty cells 🐸

✨c o o l _ d a d _ a e s t h e t i c ✨….………🦚🦚🦚 This should be on Adult Swim:

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

ancient hieroglyphics are just that… ANCIENT !! Time to let them go. Computers exist for a reason ppl 🤡

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

Your honor my client saw you whispering to someone and wants to know if it’s about him

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

14 beers deep at bar after telling your buddy “I need to piss but we’re continuing this convo when I’m back.”

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

instead of being on a first-name basis with everyone… i want to be on a first-BASE basis with everyone

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

people who talk about anything related to airline points > any version of me without a doubt

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

when u aint expecting crunchy and u get crunchy that’s the sorta thing that will develop into trauma

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

Baseball players are so extra

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

There’s nothing I love more than watching George Clooney have a better life than me

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

If a restroom doesn’t have a sign telling me to wash my hands for 20 seconds I usually will wash for like 5 seconds

[MeUndies @MeUndies]

Now we finally know what the Mona Lisa was smiling about 🍆

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

if you wreck me in a video game i hope i make your highlight reel. because brother when one of does well…we all do. I want to be a part of your success

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

if i ever start making my own beer please shun me with force

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

i am against all forms of being a buzzkill

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

@jontaffer @TaffersBourbon @jaredburgin can u do a taste test/review video

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

@TotallyAllen Royalties are solid

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

If I can speak strictly biologically here—sex feels good!!

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

my biggest first-world problem? people won’t stop fucking on my jet 😂

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

Does anyone know of a good website where I can get a shirt and then also two emails every day for the rest of my life?

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

@thejohnmurphy I love this show. Can you and I do a Bluey podcast?

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

for pretty much any situation in your life my best advice is always to start hopping

[thirsty cells 🐸 @tklynch]

it’s mouthwash ➡️ brush teeth ➡️ floss for all you traditionalists