Tom Kretchmar

Divorce lawyer. But that's not why most people follow me on here. Justified, not yet ancient. | @[email protected] | @tkretchmar on instagram

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

A few days ago I decided that almost everyone deserves a trophy for their 2020 accomplishments, whatever they may be, so I designed and ordered one for myself, and it just arrived and it’s magnificent, and you should do the same for yourself.

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@joshgondelman Don't be coy; it was the behind the scenes pep talks you gave 97.91% of them. NICE JOB!

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@CraigLaBan Hear hear. Also, filed away somewhere in my mom's house back home in Philly, I have a copy of the restaurant review of Fork that I wrote for the Daily Pennsylvanian back in the 90's. It may not have been LaBan-level scribesmanship, but it assuredly gave the highest of praise!

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@miyukato1121 You shouldn't apologize any further than you already did on court. On the other hand, @MarieBouzkova & @sara_sorribes should publicly atone for their shameful&opportunistic flouting of fair play, & should - and likely will - be booed everywhere they go for the foreseeable future.

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@JPFlexner 💯🙌

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@johnlevenstein @julieklausner This version - by Barry Mann himself - is one of my favorite recordings of anything ever, full stop:
https://t.co/V7lWp8TbRh

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@mariskreizman Regretfully I’m the Xeroxed branzino

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

While it was a huge oversight that the Rewatchables crew didn't have me guest host this episode, I'm nonetheless ecstatic that they finally covered my favorite movie of all time.

[Bill Simmons @BillSimmons]

New @TheRewatchables — ‘The Last Days of Disco’ 25 years later w/ me and those yuppie scums @ChrisRyan77 + @SeanFennessey.

https://t.co/Ihrb81sIC7

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@mariskreizman I'm the lawyer Kendall's contacting re: changing his custody deal

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@kibblesmith Cheap Trick wrote Dream Police in solidarity with crime procedural writers who are unable to write down any new cops

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@imjasondiamond tired: Goop
wired: Jewp

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

Trying to convince @imjasondiamond to start a band with me called Mishegossip Guys

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@steve_vladeck @ProfMMurray @profamandatyler @LisaManheimWA @evanasmith @mjs_DC @KSVesq Perhaps Karen will give you her limited power of attorney to sign a copy for me in her name on her behalf.

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@KSVesq @steve_vladeck @ProfMMurray @profamandatyler @LisaManheimWA @evanasmith @mjs_DC Why does this always happen when people let a matlaw lawyer enter the chat:

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@steve_vladeck @ProfMMurray @profamandatyler @LisaManheimWA @evanasmith @mjs_DC If I attend the NYC event can I get a copy of your book signed by @KSVesq?

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@rgodfrey I go into every Saturday hoping it'll be the one where I finally break ten minutes (my current Saturday PR is 10:00 flat). Yesterday's was not the day.

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

The Ramones changed my life. Thank you Mr. Stein.

[New York Times Music @nytimesmusic]

Breaking News: Seymour Stein, a successful and colorful music executive who signed Madonna, the Ramones, Talking Heads and the Pretenders to his label Sire and helped found the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, has died at 80. https://t.co/Xvse7F9kF5

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@imjasondiamond 💫

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@imjasondiamond When'd you get unbanned?

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

On the way to a meeting yesterday, fully suited up like the white collar whatever I am, I spotted a guy wearing an old school Ink & Dagger shirt. I broke stride to give him a full-throated Philly punk/hardcore shoutout. It was enthusiastically received. Philly heads are the best.

[Tom Kretchmar @tkretchmar]

@imjasondiamond Last week I started a binge of Homeland and I repeatedly found myself thinking "wait Mandy Patinkin could be wearing slim fit shirts if he wanted to"