incorrect tlou

i post incorrect tlou quotes to try and ease the pain we all have after part 2, feel free to send suggestions in curiouscat or dms! :)

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dina: *carves ellie + dina on a tree*
ellie: such a sap
ellie: *adds 4 ever to it*

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ellie: whenever dina gets mad at me, i tighten all the lids on our jars so she has to come get help from me
*sounds of glass shattering in the background*
ellie: it hasn't worked yet but it will

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joel: stop setting things on fire because you're curious about what will happen, what will happen is fire
14 yr old ellie: but what if something else happens just this one time

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mel: owen isn’t answering his phone
abby: i’ll call
mel: i have tried six times what makes you thi-
owen, answering right away: hello?

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dina: ellie, you're bleeding!
ellie: oh, that explains it
dina: explains what?
ellie: the stabbing pain in my side

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joel: so does anyone know how to fix a computer?
ellie, sighing: let me see
joel:
ellie:
ellie: it’s not charged

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lev: do you take constructive criticism?
abby: not without crying

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ellie: i only feel one emotion, anger
dina: last night you drunk texted everyone heart emojis and heartfelt messages
ellie: out of anger

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dina: i'm going to take a shower, i’ll be right back
ellie: why are you telling me this, i don't care
ellie, right after dina leaves the room: i miss her already

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ellie: it was a huge disappointment as a child to fall in love with the stars and then realize how much MATH is required to get anywhere near them!

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younger cat: would you kiss a girl for one million dollars?
younger ellie: i guess? i don't have that kind of money, though

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mel: i know we don’t always get along, but i got you a bath bomb for your birthday so whenever you’re feeling stressed you can just fill a bathtub with water and drop this in, i guarantee you all your worries will be over
abby: *opens the bag*
abby: this is a toaster

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ellie: can i go ride my skateboard outside?
maria: whatever, i’m not your mother
ellie: *runs off with a skateboard*
maria: WEAR A HELMET!

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joel: well, when life gives you lemons!
ellie: actually lemons are man made, they are a cross between a bitter orange and a citrine. so no life does not “give you lemons”
joel: just accept my advice
ellie: it’s invalid advice

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ellie, hugging dina from behind: i love you so much
ellie: but if you take my food again i will kill you

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joel: one bonus of being older than the kids is misusing modern slang on purpose and watching them cry inside
joel: the other day i pointed at a shooting star and while looking at ellie went “is that bae or what” and the look on her face was something i will treasure forever

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tommy: what's up i’m back
ellie: i literally saw you die, you died, you were dead
tommy: death is just a social construct

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ellie, hanging on for dear life: where the fuck did you learn to drive like this?!
jesse: mario kart

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dina: okay, stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. i identify as a fucking threat

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jesse: why are your tongues purple?
dina: we had slushies, i had a blue one
ellie: i had a red one
jesse: oh