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text posts from tumblr

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I say more dumb things before 9 a.m. than most people say all day

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Just spooning my boyfriend. Out if his container. It's ice-cream.

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If you can't handle me at my worst, it's ok because I can't either

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When you try to take a good picture of yourself but your face gets in the way

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People say the most ridiculous shit at school. Sometimes I make this face and look somewhere at an imaginary camera like I'm on the office

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I hate songs that are like 75% bad but the chorus is so good that you suffer through the whole song just to hear one part like 3 times

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Mom: you haven't moved since I left the house 5 hours ago wtf.. Me: um excuse me where do you think these chips came from

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I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato

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GET IGNORED SO MUCH BITCHES CALL ME TERMS AND CONDITIONS

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The only time I'm ever a morning person is on the 25th of December

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You better czechoslovakia before you wreckyoslovkia

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Ugh I need to go for a walk to clear my mind. *opens google street view*

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Trying to put my bedsheets on by myself is like wrestling with satan

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You could give me a whole month to do homework and I still wouldn't start it till the night before it's due