agatha crispy

jeans bustin’ out they seams DUMB thicc

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

I will never date an OBGYN, ain’t no way my girl is getting more pussy than me!!

[Michael Cancelliere @YoungCanc]

It’s crazy you guys are paying money for an Ai LLM to agree with whatever the hell you say; meanwhile, I’m texting my cousin Terry for free

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

Hell yea I’m bi. Bi-ying beers

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

disrespectful of the TSA agent to do a pat down of my groin area when my shit is on shrimp mode

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

@lainp

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

coming to a head? I mean yeah if it’s good enough

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

hearing someone click their weed pen button 5 times to turn it on in the stall next to me in the airport bathroom is my version of that whistle 3 finger salute thing they do in hunger games

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

imagine being a substitute teacher. they got you sittin on the bench 😭

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

I’ve been in this coffee shop for 40 minutes and the only song that’s played is the chorus from Bruno mars’ “die with a smile”. Not even the whole song just the chorus. No one else has seemingly noticed

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

she buckin on my piannis antetokounmpo

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

right before the trade deadline

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

Argentina and the US have reached a deal on critical minerals, per Reuters.

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

If twitter DM really encriptid then whys my wife filing for divorce??

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

dog and pony show?! you’re meaning to say they got both of em??

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

everyones a big supporter of businesses hiring people with autism until they making ya sandwich at jimmy johns

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

just took zohrans subway for the first time, he renamed it the MTThey/them

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

@BigWineGuy5 confirmed

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

I could never be a federal agent in charge of transporting felons on an airplane - my sleepy ass would wake up and he’d be flying the plane!!! 😴✈️🤣

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

going to the chiropractor and asking for a happy ending

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

Big Sky? Yeah, I’ll say

[agatha crispy @tmoon17]

Me being able to see exactly where the baseball is in relation to the strike zone on TV:

“What are you fucking blind”