Toad Bones

not an actual amphibian

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

New York.

New York Knicks.

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

yall ever doordash something and the driver stays parked outside. i don’t even grab the food for some reason im like “i can’t let him know i ordered this” its like responding to a text too fast

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

i fuckin hate my brain dude. i was buying some stuff from the corner store and i almost left without my Pickle in a Pouch and the cashier was like “Hun you forgot this” and my dumb ass said “haha won’t get far without that” wtf am i doing

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

a peanut allergy but it’s styrofoam peanuts

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

i got a peanut allergy but it’s just the styrofoam ones i fucking hate them

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

i’m wearing bathing suits around the apartment that’s how bad laundry day is haunting me rn

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

F in the chat for the lettuce

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

BLT’s can fuck off dude bacon is a special treat on a sandwich not the star

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

@ObbyTheBird obby i be tryna convince mfs to play like im putting them on it’s so embarrassing LMAO

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

why tf no one tell me 8 years ago fortnite was fun

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

i was posted up at work on the couch with my hand on my forehead looking at my phone and my co worker asked if everything was ok and i was deadass just watching marbles race and the one i picked had one straight away to avoid elimination

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

i love old mfs dude. peak sarcasm is always some shit like “yeah and have the tofu…NOT!” like damn Otis you got my ass with that

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

sending my mother pictures of new tattoos is my favorite past time

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

i be groping up the pickles in the bag bc i’m tryna get the biggest bang for my buck out here

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

*turns off kitchen light*

“get fuckin wrecked dude, honestly”

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

mfs put oil and vinegar on a sandwich and tell me how their parents are off the boat from italy

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

@ThePigeonShowTV he’s 27 what aren’t you getting

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

20 vs 27

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

@ObbyTheBird im 98 in huma years

[Toad Bones @toadybones]

Sir Ja, Ruler of New Yawk