Ryan

Live the life

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

It's Christmas eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve and there's still school tomorrow

[Pestily @Pestily]

Ok so my main youtubr channel just got taken down? No warnings never had any issues. Please help @YouTube #YouTube

Please help get their attention everyone

[Tito Burrito @TitoBurritoz]

❗️❗️OUT NOW❗️❗️
ALPHABET SOUP REMIX EP
AUXEN
@dashibeats
@SoundsDrimi
@imscotttoddy
@Just_Kyle_Music
@vlcnofficial

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

Petition to call the generation of kids growing up with online education "Baby-Zoomers"

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

To be truly sick is to be going back and forth between fever and chills or coughing up blood. If it ain't that, you ain't really sick, so quit lying, go to fucking work, and do your job

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

*My job as a lifeguard*

Me: Hey bud, you can't run on the pool deck.
5 yr-old: Oh.. So my aunt owns a pig farm in Vermont...

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

This is important

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

My mind can fluently recite the https://t.co/hphPwRJLgO but not lecture notes from less than a week ago. Happy Cinco

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

If you're a fish and the only food around is on a hook, what else are you gonna do?

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

Can all my exams be formated like Jeopardy? Cause I have so many questions rn and no answers, I feel like I'd win

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

Dream of Californication
Dream of Californica
Dream of California
Dream of California Republican Occupation

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

Yall post the realist shit on your finsta and the fakest shit on your main. Keeps me tripping on thoughts

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

You know you're growing up when you find excitement in receiving a blender as a present. #Thankful

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

Me: Eat shit and die

Dung Beetle: Ok

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

Me: Well, you can get 2 regulars for $2. Will that work?

Man: Oh, I can jazz with that.

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

*Actual encounter at newly acquired gas station job*

Man: I only have $2.25. Do they have 2 for $2 on the Black and Milds? I'm looking to jazz tn.

Me: *Brain freezes trying to process the meaning of 'jazz'*

Me: Uhh we have jazz flavor.

Man: No, no. I wanna get jazzy.

Me: Oh

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

If you apply the "3rd times a charm" rule to your relationships, you're doing it so wrong

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

Why's it gotta be sometimes that the more you try and find someone meaningful, the more you find they don't exist?

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

Friend 1: Aight fam, bet.

Friend 2: Betty.

Me: Yh. Betty White.

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

This man is exploiting his memehood

[John Cena @JohnCena]

This one goes out to my beautiful Lady Liberty, my torch only lights for you girl. #Ad #SkyyVodka #ProudlyAmerican

[Ryan @ToasterRoasted]

Still single in the profile tho