Small One

This grown up world is a confusing and silly place. Also, I'm not a toddler anymore! I'm a big boy!

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

@fakedansavage

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

@dr_tey @RadInstitute Your talk was brilliant!

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

OH by Small One this afternoon: “Now I have a week with no sports.” /whine

Yes basketball is over. Soccer practice starts in two weeks. Baseball not far behind. #sportsmom #jocklife #kidlife

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

Always store your guns safely. #kidlife

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

Me: I think <Preteen Girl> has a crush on you.

Small One: But she chases me around and throws things at me.

Me: Yeah that’s sometimes how 11 year old girls show they like you.

Small One: …..

#preteen #kidlife

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

21st century parenting: There’s a device ringing, but which one is it? My smart watch, my decommissioned phone, my parents’ phones…ARGH.

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

@deelomas @katiehal16 Lol

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

I love “crouton” with my pizza. #kidspeak #kidlife

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

@KaylaChowShow Phones that plug into the wall

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

It too me a full minute to figure out how to hang up a cordless, landline phone. #GenerationAlpha #GenZ #kidlife

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

Getting instructions from a 10 year old on how to play a card game is a little like surrealist performance art. #kidlife

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

Older Sibling: Can I lick someone?
Younger Sibling: Yes! Lick me!
(She does)
Younger Sibling: Can I lick you?
Older Sibling: No.
#Siblings #kidlife

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

Me: Why are butts funny?
Small One: Because I’m a nine year old?

#kidlogic #kids

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

@Twitter One word: COVFEFE

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

@ericsmithrocks https://t.co/LxPxgd0Hpb

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

Hey guys I just discovered a great new song called “Lose Yourself” by @Eminem …oh, it’s 20 years old? #kidlife

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

New Year’s, parent edition: The kids are wired to make sure they get to stay up to midnight while their parents are about to fall asleep st 9:30. #kidlife #NewYearsEve #parenting

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

OH in Roblox: “I’m deleting my baby.” #kidlife #Roblox

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

Because of the pandemic, I’ve forgotten what friends do inside to play. But also because of the pandemic I know how to through an impromptu party on Zoom and Roblox. #pandemickids #kidlife

[Small One @ToddlerMind]

Questions one does not want to after bedtime, parent edition:

1. Why are you wet?
2. What did you DO?

#parenting #bedtime #kidlife