Todd™

[j.d. durkin @jd_durkin]

the first winner of a million dollars was the best winner of a million dollars — all-time favorite ‘Millionaire’ clip

[Luke Combs 🎤 @lukecombs]

The country music flag is flying at half mast today. RIP Charlie Daniels.

[Chase Thompson @ChaseThompson_]

I’m brave, but I’m not speed through Holly Ridge brave.

[Hunter @issa_hbo]

Just held the door open for a woman walking out of Speedway (from the outside, standing back away from the door) and she said “watch your distance buddy”. I reckon the CDC is about to come after me

[™️Marcus  @TheMisterMarcus]

I’m never deleting this app. Y’all can go to HELL. 😂

[. @StockCats_2009]

I don’t even know how to explain the price of oil being negative to my cat

[Philip Melanchthon Wegmann @PhilipWegmann]

Asked about pardoning the Tiger King, Trump says "I'll take a look."

[Deborah Austin @DebsSweet]

It's like being 16 again.

Gas is cheap and I'm grounded.

[Brandon Awadis @brawadis]

Retweet if she fed her husband to her cats

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

My Quarantine Routine

I just wanted to share what works for me. This is just to give me structure and a sense of stability

9 am - 2 am: wake up & stare at my phone

[mike @painbuiltt]

how crazy we talkin

[Internet Explorer  𝕏 @InternetXp1orer]

BREAKING: China has reported the outbreak of a deadly coronavirus #Covid_19 in the city of #Wuhan

[Marcus @STOPFLEXIN]

My manager went on a 8 week sabbatical on Jan 25th and him and his wife rented a cabin in the North Carolina woods and didn’t bring no type of technology with them so they could enjoy each other company. Nigga finna come back to pure hell. He don’t even know Kobe gone

[Ramp Capital @RampCapitalLLC]

When you want to wash your hands so you don’t get coronavirus but also don’t want the band-aid on your finger to get wet.

[Shneaky @uncle_drew217]

These flight prices are wild, who wanna go to Puerto Rico for lunch tomorrow?

[@jenmonnier.bsky.social @JenMonnier]

You're supposed to wash your hands for 20 sec, which is the time it takes to sing Happy Birthday twice. But I'm tired of singing Happy Birthday and you probably are too, so I've done the very important public service of compiling other songs with roughly 20 sec choruses to sing:

[Todd™ @toddleslemaster]

@UNCWBarstool Just do what UNCW does and send out an active shooter alert 🤷🏻‍♂️