Todd Shurtleff

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

@shenanigansen Gurren Lagann is old? I'm over here reminiscing about Trigun and Gundam Wing

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

@mcnicollme @EveEchoes @CCPGames Because I have a shit computer that can't run EO but I have a good phone

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

@bwecht would you ever consider joing a side band consisting of you, Brian May of Queen and Brian Cox D.ream. Also, how often is it pointed out to you that there are 3 Brians who are physicists and were in a band

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

@joycicouture No U

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

You feel like there's no way out. Do you risk putting yourself in more debt to try and go to college again? You're almost 30, can you even still learn new things? Or should you just accept that you're going to live a life of mediocrity and suffer for your mistakes? #loser

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

It's a weird feeling seeing your younger siblings accomplish more than you. You want to be proud of them and cheer them on. But then the realization kicks in that you might be a loser. #siblings #depression #blacksheep

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

You're 300lbs, stuck in a crap job you hate, barely able to afford living and starting to build debt you'll probably never be able to pay off. You got married to the love of your life but you're terrified that she's going to realize how much of loser you really are.

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

The story I was going to write is now lost. Not gone, just buried in the deepest parts of my brain, never to be seen or heard again. I cant decide if it's because it's just a lost cause or if I'm just being lazy. It's most likely that I'm lazy.

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

At work I brainstorm and allow my mind to wonder so much that it often impacts my job performance. I build large, elaborate, and sometimes beautiful sometimes scary worlds in my head. I always tell myself as they come that I will put them down on paper and make something of it.

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

And then my weekend finally comes and story that has been running through my head has had so many starts and stops and changes that I just cant write it anymore. It's not a story anymore, just a jumbled mess of characters, world lore, and dialogue with no plot.

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

Someday I'll give her her best birthday ever, just like she gave me three years ago.

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

Today was my wife's birthday. This time of the year is always difficult for her. It's when a lot of the tragedies in her life happened. I always try to make it special for her but for one reason or another it always seems to end up as just another normal day.

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

I have nothing interesting to say tonight. Nothing that I need I get out of mind, nothing that really bothered me today. It's almost unsettling feeling this calm. Except maybe one thing. Is it weird to use Twitter as a diary when I dont intend to acknowledge any responses I get?

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

But then what "productive" thing could I have possibly done? I have no real skills that translate into a hobby. My house is a mess but cleaning it seems like a pointless endeavor considering it gets to be just as messy a few days later as though I had done nothing.

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

It's strange feeling so bored that I feel depressed. It's likely my own fault that I got to this point. And I'm sure if I would have just done something productive instead of watching TV and playing games all day I wouldn't have gotten so down. #bored #depression

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

Especially right now since a lot of people don't even have internet since CenturyLink has been down for a full day.

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

I'm afraid to talk about my emotions because I don't want people to think I'm just looking for attention. #whatiswrongwithme

[Todd Shurtleff @toddshurtleff]

That and the fact that nobody ever reads my tweets. It's just a really nice way for me to yell my problems into a void so I can get them out of my head.