the owl house script

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[the owl house script @tohscript]

S1 E13: “The First Day”

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King: I hate gay people.

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Weh? Maybe not, but I care about these kids, and nothing can change that.

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You're not a teacher.

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Alright. Read chapters three to five on the right way to scratch yourself in public. Spoiler alert: There's no wrong way! Days like these make being a teacher all worth it.

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The coven denies knowing about the basilisk, but that won't stop me from writing a very stern letter.

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I shoulda guessed.

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You know, only one other student wanted to study every track. [Bump summons Lord Calamity's picture] Unfortunately, she was never given the opportunity. [With a wipe of his hand, the graffiti on the picture disappears, revealing a young Eda.]

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[Luz gets a full magical-girl transformation sequence as her uniform takes several colors to reflect the different tracks.] What's going on? What is this? Whoa-ho! This is so cool. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna study everything!

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Oh, I still can't choose. Maybe it's crazy but I wish I could study a little bit of everything.

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Then so be it. [Bump changes their uniforms to reflect their new tracks] But if any of you cause more property damage, I'm feeding you to the choosy hat. [to Luz] And you?

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[Barcus barks]

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Plants and Abomination!

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Healing and Beast Keeping!

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Alright, I'm smart enough to know when I've made a mistake. Which tracks would you like to be in?

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Do the right thing, ya dingus.

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B-but--

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Okay, you need coven money. But if you have to hurt your students to get it, what's the point? They saved Hexside. They should be allowed to study what they wish.

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I don't care to know the ins and outs of rascality. But if the Emperor's Coven can send an actual inspector this time--

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Yeah it is. But let's think about this, Principal Bump. Why would kids in the detention track need a secret hideout?

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Are in so much trouble. Leaving your homeroom, mixing magic and-- is that a secret hideout?