Tom Brian

Friends are born....not made.

[The Kenyan Vigilante @KenyanSays]

A Kenyan man goes viral with his piece of advice!

[Iamemperor @Iamemperor00]

Teacher: “Why were you absent yesterday?”

Student: “I was at my grandfather’s funeral.”

Teacher: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Student: “Thank you.”

The teacher nodded and moved on.

Then another student raised his hand.

Student #2: “That’s weird.”

Teacher: “What is?”

Student #2: “His grandfather died last month.”

The room went quiet.

The teacher slowly looked back at the first student.

Teacher: “Your grandfather died last month?”

Student: “Yes.”

Teacher: “And yesterday was his funeral?”

Student: “Also yes.”

Teacher: “How?”

The student shrugged.

Student: “It’s complicated.”

Now the entire class was listening.

The teacher sat on the edge of her desk.

Teacher: “Go ahead.”

Student: “My grandfather had three families.”

Silence.

Teacher: “Three… families?”

Student: “Yep.”

Teacher: “At the same time?”

Student: “Apparently.”

The class exploded with laughter.

The teacher raised a hand.

Teacher: “Wait. So there were multiple funerals?”

Student: “Three.”

Teacher: “Three funerals?”

Student: “One family organized one. Another family didn’t like that one and organized their own. Then the third family got offended and organized a different one.”

A student in the back nearly fell out of his chair.

Student #3: “Your grandfather had sequels?”

Student: “Basically.”

Teacher: “And you attended all of them?”

Student: “Mom said we had to.”

Teacher: “How many people showed up?”

Student: “Hundreds.”

Teacher: “At each funeral?”

Student: “Yep.”

The teacher stared at the ceiling.

Teacher: “I don’t even know how to process this.”

The student wasn’t finished.

Student: “The second funeral almost got canceled.”

Teacher: “Why?”

Student: “The first family accidentally booked the same venue.”

The class lost control.

The teacher was laughing now too.

Teacher: “You’re telling me your grandfather’s families double-booked funerals?”

Student: “Triple-booked, technically.”

Teacher: “Of course.”

A girl near the window raised her hand.

Girl: “Did the families know about each other?”

Student: “They do now.”

The room erupted.

Teacher: “How did they find out?”

Student: “At the first funeral.”

The teacher covered her face.

Teacher: “Your poor grandfather.”

Student: “Honestly, I think he’d have loved the drama.”

Teacher: “Why do you say that?”

Student: “Because he left a note.”

Teacher: “A note?”

Student: “Yep.”

Teacher: “What did it say?”

The student pulled out his phone.

Cleared his throat.

And read:

“To everyone attending: if you’re surprised to see unfamiliar relatives, imagine how I felt trying to remember all your birthdays.”

The classroom exploded.

Even the teacher had tears in her eyes.

After a full minute of laughter she finally managed to speak.

Teacher: “Your grandfather sounds impossible.”

Student: “That’s exactly what all three widows said.”

[The Oligarch @NytoP2PMwangi]

Masculine Cars vs Feminine Cars
1 Toyota Fielder - Unisex
2 Toyota Axio - Masculine
3 Toyota Vitz - Feminine
4 Mazda Demio - Feminine
5 Toyota Auris - Feminine
6 Toyota Noah - Masculine
7 Toyota Wish - Masculine
8 Honda Vezel - Feminine
9 Honda Fit - Feminine
10 Subaru Outback - Masculine
11 Subaru Forester - Masculine
12 Toyota Harrier - Masculine
13 Mazda Axela - Feminine
14 Mazda Atenza - Masculine
15 Mazda CX-3 - Unisex
16 Mercedes C200 - Feminine
17 Mercedes E350 - Masculine
18 Nissan Latio - Masculine
19 Nissan Sylphy - Feminine
20 Nissan Juke - Feminine
21 Mercedes A180 - Feminine
22 Mercedes B180 - Masculine
23 Lexus LX570 - Masculine
24 Lexus TX - Unisex
25 Toyota Alphard - Masculine
26 Toyota Voxy - Unisex
27 Honda Stepwagon - Masculine
28 Toyota Hilux - Masculine
29 Subaru X-Trail - Unisex
30 Mazda CX-5 - Unisex
31 Toyota Passo - Feminine
32 Suzuki Alto - Feminine
33 Nissan March - Feminine
34 Nissan Note - Feminine
35 Nissan Note Nismo - Masculine
36 Toyota Ractis - Feminine
37 Toyota Probox - Unisex
38 Toyota Succeed - Unisex
39 Nissan Patrol - Masculine
40 Range Rover Vogue - Masculine
41 Range Rover Evoque - Feminine
42 Toyota Fortuner - Unisex
43 Toyota Mark X - Masculine
44 Toyota Crown - Masculine
45 Toyota Vanguard - Feminine
46 Nissan Murano - Feminine
47 Subaru Impreza - Unisex
48 Toyota Corolla - Masculine
49 Toyota Premio - Masculine
50 Toyota RAV4 - Unisex
51 Toyota Land Cruiser Prado - Masculine
52 Toyota Hiace - Masculine
53 Toyota Caldina - Unisex
54 Toyota Land Cruiser 70 Series - Masculine
55 Subaru Legacy - Masculine
56 Isuzu D-Max - Masculine
57 Honda CR-V - Unisex
58 Mercedes C-Class - Masculine
59 BMW 3 Series - Masculine
60 Nissan Kicks - Unisex
61 Toyota Yaris - Unisex
62 Mercedes GLE - Masculine
63 Porsche Cayenne - Masculine
64 Mercedes G-Wagon - Masculine

[World of Statistics @stats_feed]

Most Used Swear Word

🇦🇹 Austria: Scheiße
🇦🇺 Australia: F*ck / Cunt
🇧🇾 Belarus: Blyat
🇧🇪 Belgium: Putain
🇧🇷 Brazil: Porra / Caralho
🇨🇦 Canada: F*ck
🇨🇱 Chile: Weón / Concha
🇨🇴 Colombia: Hijueputa
🇨🇷 Costa Rica: Puta / Mierda
🇨🇿 Czech Republic: Kurva
🇩🇰 Denmark: Fandeme
🇪🇪 Estonia: Kurat
🇫🇮 Finland: Vittu
🇫🇷 France: Putain
🇩🇪 Germany: Scheiße
🇬🇷 Greece: Malaka
🇭🇺 Hungary: Kurva
🇮🇸 Iceland: Helvítis / Fokk
🇮🇪 Ireland: Feck
🇮🇱 Israel: Kus Emek / Zayin
🇮🇹 Italy: Cazzo
🇯🇵 Japan: Bakayaro / Chikusho
🇰🇷 South Korea: Ssibal / Sibal
🇱🇻 Latvia: Sasodits
🇱🇹 Lithuania: Po Velniu
🇱🇺 Luxembourg: Scheiße / Putain
🇲🇽 Mexico: Pendejo / Chingada
🇳🇱 Netherlands: Kanker
🇳🇿 New Zealand: F*ck / Cunt
🇳🇴 Norway: Faen
🇵🇱 Poland: Kurwa
🇵🇹 Portugal: Porra
🇷🇺 Russia: Blyat
🇸🇰 Slovakia: Kurva
🇸🇮 Slovenia: Jebiga
🇪🇸 Spain: Joder
🇸🇪 Sweden: Fan / Helvete
🇨🇭 Switzerland: Scheiße / Putain (varies by region)
🇹🇷 Turkey: Siktir
🇬🇧 UK: F*ck
🇺🇦 Ukraine: Blyat
🇺🇸 United States: F*ck

Note: These are the most commonly cited everyday swear words per country/region. Usage varies by context, intensity, and local dialect. Many countries borrow heavily from neighbors

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

In a 1988 interview, Pablo Escobar said co*caine wasn’t the real problem...hypocrisy was.
He argued that drugs spread because of demand, just like alcohol, and that the US only saw co*caine as dangerous because Colombians controlled the trade.

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Who remembers this italian woman? Kuki Gallman. In 2017 she was shot twice by cattle herders in Laikipia. She calls herself a ‘Conservationist’ but what she is,is a thief. Currently she owns about 101,000 acres of fenced land in Laikipia. How she got this land is not exactly known.

In one of her books called I dreamed of Africa,she writes that she had a dream and felt that it was her Duty and responsibility to come and protect animals in Laikipia.

But one Question most of us have actively asked her,were there no animals to protect in Italy where she came from? Who gave her permission to come here and implement her delusions at the expense of the local community?

In 1970,chiefs were hoodwinked,and treaties were signed to evacuate local communities,the Maasai,Samburu,pokot,from their lands and create space for these Settlers. They were colonizers then,not settlers. They had invaded us.

They came built long railways,not for us but to help them extract every important resource Kenya(Africa) has. They planted coffee and tea,not for us,but for export to britain

This woman Kuki Gallman,claims to be protecting animals. And we have asked her,this animals that you claim to protect,who protected them in 1960s back when you whites hadnt set foot here. Isnt it us who lived with these animals? They never answer this

So she has grabbed one hundred thousand acres in Laikipia,claiming to be protecting girrafes and Zebras. The same zebras that farmers live with in kedong Naivasha. Upto recently when she was shot after community had enough,and they want their land back,she had a very big resort in there,mzungus would pay thousands in dollars to stay there at night

But the real owners of these lands,the pastrolists,have been denied entry to their lands.

CONservation must End.

Mzungu ni mtu Mkora sana.

[Unfiltered @quotesdaily100]

Best YouTube Channels to Learn Languages & Communication:

1. English – English Addict with Mr Steve
2. Spanish – Dreaming Spanish
3. Japanese – Japanese Pod 101
4. Public Speaking – Charisma on Command
5. Writing – Brandon McNulty
6. Storytelling – Matthew Dicks
7. Debate Skills – Intelligence Squared
8. Body Language – Observe
9. Business Communication – Jeff Su
10. Vocabulary – Merriam-Webster
11. French – Français Authentique
12. German – Easy German
13. Mandarin Chinese – Yoyo Chinese
14. Arabic – Arabic Pod 101
15. Korean – Talk To Me In Korean
16. Italian – Italiano Automatico
17. Portuguese – Practice Portuguese
18. Hindi – Hindi Pod 101
19. Russian – Russian With Max
20. Sign Language – Bill Vicars
21. Accent Reduction – Rachel's English
22. Pronunciation – Sounds American
23. Grammar – English with Lucy
24. Listening Skills – TED Talks
25. Persuasion & Influence – Rhetoric & Persuasion
26. Presentation Skills – Toastmasters International
27. Confidence Building – Brian Tracy
28. Emotional Intelligence – Daniel Goleman Talks
29. Cross-Cultural Communication – Erin Meyer Insights
30. Speed Reading – Howard Berg
31. Memory & Vocabulary Retention – Loci Method
32. Slang & Informal English – English with Greg
33. IELTS Preparation – E2 IELTS
34. TOEFL Preparation – TST Prep
35. Debate & Critical Thinking – Jordan Peterson Lectures
36. Journalism & Reporting – Reuters Training
37. Screenwriting – StudioBinder
38. Poetry & Spoken Word – Button Poetry
39. Negotiation Skills – The Black Swan Group
40. Interviewing & Communication – Big Think

[Nzioka Muli @nziokamul1]

The plan is to make Kenya a failed state;
1. Destroy the middle class.
-shut down manufacturing companies.
-overtax the working class.
-inflation.
-hike the cost of living.
-no increments on salaries.

2. Turn everyone into a beggar.
-introduce digital currency.
-government as biggest employer.
-destroy informal sector.
-divest manufacturing.
-over regulate/ over tax small and medium enterprises.
-subsidise corporates.

3. Privatize land.
-give access to farmland to global agricultural multinationals.
-bills that take away land sovereignty from the citizen.
-introduce a land tax.
-create squatters.

4. Control housing.
-15 minute cities.
-over surveillance.
-avoidable housing for those who can't afford a tax on their freehold land.

5. Destroy seed sovereignty.
-introduce only patented seedlings.
-prioritise GMOs and hybrids.
-demonize indigenous seeds and organic farming.
-pass bills that curtail the growth and aspirations of small scale farmers.

6. Privatize water.
-force a people to need a license to harvest rain water, rivers or dams.
-overtax boreholes so only the rich can afford them.
-give global beverage and bottled water companies uninhibited access.

7. Enslave the nation in debt.
-borrow from global banking cartels;
IMF, World Bank, China EXIM Bank, European Central Bank, African Development Bank...
-squander taxes.
-loot borrowed money.
-use national assets as colateral for debt.

8. Destroy Sovereignty.
-allow foreign military bases in your land.
-allow foreign governments say so in your socio-economic/ political issues.
-allow biological weapons labs.
-allow for looting of mineral wealth and natural resources.

9. Create an illiterate populace.
-remove free education.
-introduce a new education model without proper planning.
-allow globalist entities to fund your curriculum.
-dumb down the learners.
-divest/privatise higher learning institutions.

10. Devalue the currency.
-print fiat without regulation.
-inflation.
-loot gold and silver reserves.
-allow global banking cartels to set fiscal policy.

[Joy Car hire @JCarhire]

Hebu tuhesabu hawa Burundi guys wa kahawa na mandazi
One cup ya kahawa: KES 30
One mandazi: KES 20
Let’s say one guy anazunguka estates kama Pipeline, Umoja, Kayole, Rongai, Githurai, Kasarani, Roysambu, South B, Donholm na Ruaka selling even 500 kahawas and 500 mandazis in 24 hours.
Kahawa: 30 x 500 = KES 15,000
Mandazi: 20 x 500 = KES 10,000
Total per day: KES 25,000
Per month: KES 750,000
Now imagine there are 1,000 guys doing this across Nairobi estates.
That is KES 750M per month from flasks, mandazi buckets, plastic cups and people saying “weka ya 20, niko na baridi.”
Na wewe uko hapa calling him “ule msee wa kahawa” kumbe ni Group CEO wa Estate Beverages & Mandazi Distribution Africa Ltd.

Anyway, lemme focus with my car hire. Kahawa inazunguka 24 hours, sisi tunazunguka tukitafuta client amesema ako “five minutes away ”...na ako Busia

[Unfiltered @quotesdaily100]

Strangest Psychological Effects Proven by Science:

1. Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon :
You buy a red car and suddenly see red cars everywhere

2. Dunning-Kruger Effect :
The less you know, the more confident you feel

3. Placebo Effect :
Sugar pills genuinely heal people who believe in them

4. Mandela Effect :
Millions of people share the same false memory simultaneously

5. Spotlight Effect :
You think everyone notices your mistakes but nobody does

6. IKEA Effect :
You value things more when you built them yourself

7. Bystander Effect :
The more people present in an emergency the less likely anyone helps

8. Pygmalion Effect :
People perform better simply because someone believes in them

9. Zeigarnik Effect :
You remember unfinished tasks far better than completed ones

10. Stockholm Syndrome :
Victims develop genuine affection for their captors

11. False Memory Effect :
Your brain confidently remembers events that never actually happened

12. Priming Effect :
Exposure to one idea secretly influences your very next thought or decision

13. Chameleon Effect :
You unconsciously copy the gestures, posture and expressions of people around you

[SokoAnalyst @SokoAnalyst]

The Ebola issue has exposed President Ruto in the clearest way possible. It has revealed a leader who appears dangerously detached from the fears, safety, and dignity of the Kenyan people.

When citizens raise genuine concerns about a deadly disease and the government responds with secrecy, arrogance, and silence, the message is painful: our lives do not seem to matter to those in power.

If Kenyans suffer, they move on. If Kenyans die, they issue statements. If Kenyans demand answers, they are dismissed. That is why this matter is bigger than Ebola. It is about a government that has lost the moral authority to be trusted with the lives of its own citizens.

[Junior Quotes @Juniorquotes1]

Mountain goat leaps across massive canyon without hesitation 😨

[Syler Mayne @thegud_neighbor]

I’m never deleting this Tems video ☺️

[Lincoln. @linc_ke3]

The video😂

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

Even legends can fall for the trick.

[Sheryllisa @Sheryllisa52263]

Nimebaki hapo kwa konde boy 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

[Abdulahi Adan @AbdulahiAdan10]

Saa zingine inabidi uruke mimba,, kesi baadaye 😀😂🙆

[Futurist🇿🇼 @WaltJackman]

In case you think you are having a bad day 🤣🤣🤣

[Vikram @Vikram10729557]

His laugh was very cute and real😂❤

[🇺🇸 Ronald Carter @USronaldcarter]

🚨 THE NEXT 72 HOURS. DAY BY DAY. BOOKMARK THIS.

📅 TODAY — May 13
→ Air Force One lands in Beijing with 12+ named CEOs aboard — Tesla, Nvidia, Apple, BlackRock, Boeing, Goldman Sachs, Citigroup, GE, Qualcomm, Micron, Blackstone, Cargill
→ Jensen Huang boarded during the Alaska refueling stop — last-minute addition
→ Trump confirms "many other" undisclosed CEOs also on the plane
→ The largest corporate delegation ever to accompany a sitting U.S. president touches down in China

📅 MAY 14 — Day 1 of Summit
→ Trump and Xi sit down for formal talks
→ The ask: Xi opens China's market to U.S. business — directly, officially, on camera
→ 12+ of the most powerful CEOs in the world are in the room or the building
→ Combined market cap of companies represented: over $10,000,000,000,000

📅 MAY 15 — Day 2 / Outcomes
→ Deal announcements expected — or silence that speaks louder
→ Every CEO on that plane needs something specific from Beijing: chip licenses, manufacturing access, supply chain agreements, financial market entry
→ If Xi says yes to even half of it, the trade war framework changes overnight
→ If Xi says no, 12 CEOs flew to China for nothing — and markets will price that immediately

72 hours. Every step has precedent. Every prediction has math.

Nothing like this has ever happened in the history of U.S.-China relations.

The outcome of this trip will move markets more than any Fed meeting this year.

Bookmark this. Come back May 15.

if you're not following me you're finding out about this 48 hours late from someone who read my post..