Tom Murtagh

Out in the streets they call it Murtagh

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

I can’t believe after nearly 15 years of pretending to be a serious actor and not one of you snakes told me I have Eliza Thornberry gob

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

@elonmusk Eat my nuts

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

@NCatherinex Or painted and halved

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

@Conservatives egg breath

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

Crunchy Nut are £5.20 and I’m ready to give up my passport

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

Die

[annie @onesIippedaway]

Billie Eilish has been cast in #Euphoria season 3 as Nate Jacobs' possible love interest.

(Source): https://t.co/Vs9McUjVKt

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

Fuck off dead

[you might also relate to @hrtapp]

could be us

[gigi @420insidejob]

i would do absolutely anything for my friends except answer their text messages

[Nicola Sturgeon @NicolaSturgeon]

Just received this from Johnson (one of his last acts as PM?). To be clear, Scotland will have the opportunity to choose independence - I hope in a referendum on 19 October 2023 but, if not, through a general election. Scottish democracy will not be a prisoner of this or any PM.

[Liberated 💜🤍🖤🌊 @Libby_Davis21]

Remember when the mask mandates came out and pro lifers were like “my body my choice”

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

@DaBabyDaBaby crack a book you stupid cunt

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

@richardbranson give me £1M for isolating and ruining my life to protect your dusty ass while you built a space ship yeh

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

The internet peaked in 2017/18 and the worst part is that people making it worse think they make it better but m probably too gay & cool to understand

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

Who what who?

[People @people]

Bella Robertson Is Married! Duck Dynasty Star Marries Jacob Mayo​ https://t.co/uUEkpxxpdR

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

AddiSoN RAe kIsSeD wHo oN liVe T.V.?!!!!!!!!!

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

@danielburns010

[sadiq @SadiqoJN]

Hay fever is a bitch.

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

Put it in a vent and the whole school will stink

[izzy 🌾 @devilmeadow]

my little sister went on a date with a young farmer tonight. He decided to gift her a 12kg wheel of cheese...?

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

Wet Bandits try n do a heist on the Tipton hotel? Starring London McCallister

[E! News @enews]

Macaulay Culkin and Brenda Song are PARENTS! The couple welcomed a beautiful baby boy together, Dakota Song Culkin. ❤️https://t.co/ccJsucSSGC

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

If ur old and ugly enough to get a bus without ur parents put a fucking mask on you ugly little freaks

[Tom Murtagh @Tom_EXRON]

Air is still air, water is still water. Ur shoes are like £90 more expensive tho what’s that craic? Something in the air stinks and I think it’s u x

[Nike @Nike]

The next evolution of Air has arrived. 👟☁️