Tom Miles

Dad, writer, ironmonger, tennis casual. Winner of the Bridport Prize 2023.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

@nowayholmes Great to see her healthy and winning. And she is classical.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

I would like to have seen less buttock and more sustained critique of Capitalism from Engels. #Eurovision

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

Cam Norrie is into the last eight at Indian Wells without dropping more than four games in a set. And all of a sudden I’m in my late forties with mostly brown hair. The downside is that Boris Johnson is Prime Minister and Gregg Wallace’s crimes against humanity remain undetected.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

@MbarkCherguia Use your Swede.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

@andy_murray @ESPNPR @espn @Served_Podcast @andyroddick Sir Andeh, there, Double Olympic Gold medallist, three time Grand Slam winner, ATP #1 after the greatest run of tournament wins since, well, the year before, correctly punctuating “its”. I couldnae love him more.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

@elonmusk Always a good idea to minimise to the impact of slavery. I applaud you. You absolute vacuum of human feeling.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

@josemorgado Juvan fans livid with you, lol.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

@KSolska @Cliu00 Joao was nine years old when this photo was taken, that's Seyboth Wild.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

@floboflo Whatever your politics that is a dad joke of the highest order.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

@MichaelTakeMP Tom was a patsy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was ^actually^ eliminated by extreme leftist factions poisoning his mass-produced suet based breakfast in the coming days. That said, luxury pansexual communism now!

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

Surely, now Tom Whatsisface has been voted off #StrictlyComeDancing it’s time for a new referendum on #Brexit.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

“Winning the Great British Thatch Off means everything to me” while descending from an artisanal ladder somewhere in Moreton in the fucking Grange I will set myself on fire in the middle of Southside shopping centre. It will mean nothing.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

Frequently when sports people or singers or reality stars are asked “What does it mean for you… (to have had this moment of success)?” they reply “It means everything.”

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

And no-one important seems to be taking the fact that the whole planet is about to go up in flames terribly seriously (even Greta has been distracted by the genocide thing) so the next time I hear an Olympic Taekwondo player say:

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

Because the idea of meaning, the idea that how we function as humans has any significance at all has been debased by our instinct for vanity in the face of self-destruction to the point where “everything” and “nothing” are interchangeable.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

Harvest Moon by Neil Young: man stalks and sexually assaults woman, serves a lengthy custodial sentence, upon his release he goes back to his old ways. But it’s a lullaby.

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

Fitting that the game was decided by a classic Harry Kane finish.

#EuropaLeagueFinal

[Tom Miles @TomBeauLah]

Copper is also a natural material. Not great for bridge construction but antibacterial. # Latvia #Eurovision