TomJonze

my wife @lisabug74 is funnier than me

[TomJonze @TomJonze]

@bgmasters Racist dog whistles for $1000 Alex….

[TomJonze @TomJonze]

@bandcampstatus is the site down? Every time I go to the app and try to play music it just spins endlessly?

[TomJonze @TomJonze]

hey @LastWeekTonight can we get a #andnowthis that just compiles all your one-liners decimating @TuckerCarlson? Pretty please?

[Jesse D Lifson @DoYouEvenLif]

If he can find 11,780 tweets, he can overturn the results of his ban.

[TomJonze @TomJonze]

Has anyone described Philly so well before?

[TomJonze @TomJonze]

@jujujulife Well since we’d been dating and I knew you so well I’d dress up like the mayor from Schitts Creek and then do it in a really long winded way that actually made it seem like it was your idea all along.

[TomJonze @TomJonze]

@jujujulife The highlight is the ,,, ellipsis

[TomJonze @TomJonze]

@jujujulife I’ll grow up over my dead body!!!

[TomJonze @TomJonze]

@jujujulife The Goddess Of Packages hath forsaken meeeeeeee

[TomJonze @TomJonze]

Maybe BPD isn’t concerned with attacking senior citizens. Maybe they are only concerned with property damage that is technically public property, no?

[Rodrrico @Rodrrico]

@TomJonze @BPDAlerts 25 years jail minimum is required.

[Rachel @RachelNoise]

I might lose some followers with this but, the pizza cutter goes in the knife drawer not in the miscellaneous utensil drawer.

[TomJonze @TomJonze]

@ZillaRocca So he can ask for advice?

[TomJonze @TomJonze]

@MayorByronBrown How about immediately fired, and you yourself are at the hospital apologizing and paying his hospital bills. This is disgusting. He’s a 70 year old man? The officer who pushed needs CHARGED.

[Rebecca D. @rebecca_decker]

@HannahBuehler @Husaria @WKBW How about they fire every officer who failed to ‘serve and protect’ that man they shoved?

[Путин, иди на хуй. 🇺🇦🌻 @grandstick]

@Yert_McGirt @HannahBuehler @oneunderscore__ @WKBW They should be fired, and prosecuted.

[Parker BLM 🇵🇸 @RrawwrDaBur]

@HannahBuehler @WKBW Lockwood should resign immediately. As well as whatever BPD official released that bullshit statement that he fell and tripped.

[TomJonze @TomJonze]

@paulleary @BPDAlerts Specifically this one who did the push