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ceo @theonion

[follow @bencollins on bluesky @oneunderscore__]

I'm not sure everyone is ready for how unbelievably stupid the next two years are going to be.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Year
https://t.co/vGsKzjt18Z

[very manly muppet🐝🇵🇸🍉 @mustardenemy]

I need an Onion Newspaper subscription so badly but I want it delivered by someone tossing it onto my front porch from the basket of their bicycle as they keep moving forward

[onion person @CantEverDie]

getting the onion newspaper is worth it alone for the ads

[John Nack @jnack]

@MelaninisOP_ @TheOnion Christmas truly came early this year. 😅

[I Deserve it All 🇨🇦 @MelaninIsOP_]

@TheOnion Gonna use this a lot lmao 🤣

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Get more news than your fragile mind can handle. Subscribe today at 25% off.
https://t.co/qVolEYuhyZ

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person.

Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile at Thursday, Oct. 9 at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT.

Only at The Onion on Youtube here: https://t.co/dzJgXDex47.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person. Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile is in select theaters October 2.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

This Week's Onion Magazine:

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From https://t.co/W6tLkbx37C

[follow @bencollins on bluesky @oneunderscore__]

https://t.co/ayND3jvfK5

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk https://t.co/UuuY4y6NjP

[follow @bencollins on bluesky @oneunderscore__]

I talked this morning about Elon Musk, his Paul Pelosi conspiracy theory, and how you lose a democracy in the age of the internet.

[follow @bencollins on bluesky @oneunderscore__]

No fucking shit buddy.

[Sam Altman @sama]

i never took the dead internet theory that seriously but it seems like there are really a lot of LLM-run twitter accounts now

[onion person @CantEverDie]

i love holding real news in my hands

[The Onion @TheOnion]

1 Onion Subscriber vs 20 Non-Subscribers, on our new series, Encircled. Subscribe at https://t.co/NUG3McxBUg today and receive a free tote bag.

[Michael Kruse @michaelkruse]

The Onion. https://t.co/ee93jNpXFZ

[WSJ Business News @WSJbusiness]

When new owners took the helm of the Onion last year, they tried to revive the satirical publication by rolling back the publication. Their bet on print is starting to pay off https://t.co/M87OIQOtBL

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything https://t.co/lyoYjYbpm1

[Liv 🇵🇸 @bisexualbozo]

This bar I was at had a physical copy of the Onion and LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN IT