Tom's stupid

sorry, I don't really want to talk right now. 📝 ClickHole, GQ, AV Club, NY Times, New Yorker, CollegeHumor etc. Rly good @ tweets + expressing myself succinctl

[Tom's stupid @tommphilip]

new york i love u

[Tom's stupid @tommphilip]

two clonazepam please. You know what, we'll just take the bottle

[Tom's stupid @tommphilip]

(flirting) there's a pleasing tartness to Sprite Zero you don't get with the regular kind

[Tom's stupid @tommphilip]

@emily_lip Tobias was, in certain ways, my introduction to body horror and it messed baby me up. Was disproportionately worried about becoming stuck as a bird for a portion of my childhood

[Tom's stupid @tommphilip]

Guys this show is so great. Fuckin hilarious and genuinely frightening. One of my fav series in YEARS I want 17 seasons.

[Apple TV @AppleTV]

Prepare to visit the local haunts of #WidowsBay.

A new series starring Matthew Rhys from creator Katie Dippold and director Hiro Murai.

Premieres April 29 on Apple TV.

[Tom's stupid @tommphilip]

For a hot second I just thought this was a shitposter doing a really funny bit

[John Podhoretz @jpodhoretz]

Remember Javier Bardem is the cinema's most terrifying villain. That was Anton Chigurh saying 'Free Palestine.'

[Tom's stupid @tommphilip]

@BrettRedacted SO BE IT!

[karen han @karenyhan]

this performance from walton goggins is, to me, on par with what martin short is doing in the "look at me like a human boy" scene in CLIFFORD

[Tom's stupid @tommphilip]

@ecareyo Whoa! So happy for you

[Ash Sarkar @AyoCaesar]

To the limited extent we're able to imagine what it's like to be somebody else, just put yourself in this guy's shoes for a second! I spiral and catastrophise over the smallest faux pas, imagine having to fear other people's reactions to this extent?

[Tom's stupid @tommphilip]

watching the olympics skating. I love when I see something that may as well be magic as far as i’m concerned and all the experts are like “wow utter garbage we should kill them”

[out of context the thick of it @OOCThickOfIt]

I’ve drafted a letter of resignation. It says you’re jumping before you’re pushed, although we’re going to be briefing that you were pushed. Sorry.

[Isaac Feldberg @isaacfeldberg]

This little shit in THE PLAGUE, one of the most exciting acting debuts this year — Kayo Martin, remember the name

[jade! :3 @RigbyGender]

This guy’s gonna be the best character in Scream 7

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

delaying leaving the house until I read ~20 pages of this new book because if I go out and people see me reading page 1 of a book a picture of me will be posted online and three million people will tell me to kill myself

[Tom's stupid @tommphilip]

Just saw the new 28 years later and it's fucking great. Wish you could buy stock in actors bc I would have gone all in on Jack'O'Connell back in 08 and it'd be paying off big time now. Enough to cover my "Taron Egerton in 2014" losses, easy.

[Tom's stupid @tommphilip]

Someone pls archive these copies I'm completely serious

[Tom's stupid @tommphilip]

@BrettRedacted @KeithOlbermann oh my god