sasha 🪩

remember kids you can’t spell mess without me

[Eren 💋 @erenfromtargets]

This girl at my job tryna warm her food with aluminum foil , I told her she can't do that she said "I'm new here I ain't know" girl you can't do that anywhere…

[gumball @gnmball]

becoming a plumber was never about the money. it's all about the access to the medicine cabinets

[Ki @Kitranada]

When I get asked what’s been going on with me for the last 2-3 months & I can’t say much because idk either

[matthew psychosis @matthewpsycho]

At what age should someone start taking their general trajectory in life seriously

[olivia @dadswhotweet]

going to spend $100 just to meet them

[Zack Voell @zackvoell]

Fuck my life. I just bought a $20 burrito and a $12 iced coffee. Now I can never afford a $800,000 house

[Comrade Cat ⚔️🔮🛸🇵🇸 @CatJova]

My gf has been talking to this guy that bought a billboard in SF so that it wouldn’t be bought by a real AI company and now he just responds to anyone that messages him 😭 his name is Tucker and it took him 3 days to send her back that cat drawing

[Walter Covenant: Messiah: Part 3 @WalterCovenant_]

2026 every 3 months

[##. @PLEASEDNTTALK]

On a date she in da bathroom just wanted to say wassup to yall

[Schwibz @schwibz]

coworker just tripped and smashed his coffee mug into the printer and said “that’s baseball”

[river moon @kissmeriver]

music is the best way to decorate time!

[Austinsseus @awoodustin]

I always assumed Chris Hansen was just a normal man but now that I see he’s being played by Robert Pattinson I’m starting to think he’s a weird man

[delulu @welchmeyer]

guys i don’t care if USPS lost your package once or whatever. if we lose USPS it will impact so. many. people. negatively.

it’s the ONLY program we have required to deliver to EVERY address.

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

when i erase a word with a pencil where does it go

[ً @artfuIchaos]

having an intrusive thought and shaking my head to show the mind readers i don't approve

[sári @mokuska]

24-hr indian takeout place called naanstop

[dios mio @6diosmio]

love stoners with amazing music taste fr like yes play that senegalese reggae that was used to fight oppression during our smoke sesh

[azka @artyfiber]

"are you a boy or a girl" what if we make out and see whether you feel gay or straight

[allie @Alex3seaq]

i’m so glad they didn’t ban tiktok