Matt Sheridan

A follower of the black and white army. Who lives and works in London.

[Matt Sheridan @toonmnky]

@realDonaldTrump @fifa @GianniInfantino how much to get Quansah's red card overturned?
How much did Balogun's cost?
England will have a whipround. 😁😉
#fifaworldcup
#footballForsale

[Matt Sheridan @toonmnky]

@dunsterhouseltd
What is going on with the second picture?
Are dinosaurs and crocodiles option extras with your pergolas? (Second image on the reel)
#dinosaurs #crocodiles

https://t.co/f0jraut1tZ

[Matt Sheridan @toonmnky]

@elonmusk
Maybe get your own house in order before you criticise others.

[Matt Sheridan @toonmnky]

Well, enough of Musk and his nonsense. Shame. Twitter was good. Bye everyone.
#leavingx
#endofx

[Benjy Sarlin @BenjySarlin]

Jon Stewart’s 2-minute history lesson here is worth everyone’s time before we start confidently breaking out our theories of what happened

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Here's a clip from 2016...

[Matt Sheridan @toonmnky]

@explodey I am excited about a Weezer gig!

[RockGod @TheHoustonWade]

Trump: "we always have huge crowds and never any empty seats."

Cameraman: *pans camera*

[Democratic Wins Media @DemocraticWins]

BREAKING: In a stunning announcement, after distancing himself from Project 2025, Donald Trump announced he will appoint Tom Homan (Project 2025’s author) on day 1. Retweet to make sure all Americans see this and know Donald Trump is Project 2025

[David Leavitt 🎲🎮🧙‍♂️🌈 @DavidLeavitt]

It was foretold in the prophecies

[Arnold Schwarzenegger @Schwarzenegger]

I don’t really do endorsements. I’m not shy about sharing my views, but I hate politics and don’t trust most politicians.

I also understand that people want to hear from me because I am not just a celebrity, I am a former Republican Governor.

My time as Governor taught me to love policy and ignore politics. I’m proud of the work I did to help clean up our air, create jobs, balance the budget, make the biggest infrastructure investment in state history, and take power from the politicians and give it back to the people when it comes to our redistricting process and our primaries in California.

That’s policy. It requires working with the other side, not insulting them to win your next election, and I know it isn’t sexy to most people, but I love it when I can help make people’s lives better with policies, like I still do through my institute at USC, where we fight for clean air and stripping the power from the politicians who rig the system against the people.

Let me be honest with you: I don’t like either party right now. My Republicans have forgotten the beauty of the free market, driven up deficits, and rejected election results. Democrats aren’t any better at dealing with deficits, and I worry about their local policies hurting our cities with increased crime.

It is probably not a surprise that I hate politics more than ever, which, if you are a normal person who isn’t addicted to this crap, you probably understand.

I want to tune out.

But I can’t. Because rejecting the results of an election is as un-American as it gets. To someone like me who talks to people all over the world and still knows America is the shining city on a hill, calling America is a trash can for the world is so unpatriotic, it makes me furious.

And I will always be an American before I am a Republican.

That’s why, this week, I am voting for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.

I’m sharing it with all of you because I think there are a lot of you who feel like I do. You don’t recognize our country. And you are right to be furious.

For decades, we’ve talked about the national debt. For decades, we’ve talked about comprehensive immigration reform that secures the border while fixing our broken immigration system. And Washington does nothing.

The problems just keep rolling, and we all keep getting angrier, because the only people that benefit from problems aren’t you, the people. The only people that benefit from this crap are the politicians who prefer having talking points to win elections to the public service that will make Americans’ lives better.

It is a just game to them. But it is life for my fellow Americans. We should be pissed!

But a candidate who won’t respect your vote unless it is for him, a candidate who will send his followers to storm the Capitol while he watches with a Diet Coke, a candidate who has shown no ability to work to pass any policy besides a tax cut that helped his donors and other rich people like me but helped no one else else, a candidate who thinks Americans who disagree with him are the bigger enemies than China, Russia, or North Korea - that won’t solve our problems.

It will just be four more years of bullshit with no results that makes us angrier and angrier, more divided, and more hateful.

We need to close the door on this chapter of American history, and I know that former President Trump won’t do that. He will divide, he will insult, he will find new ways to be more un-American than he already has been, and we, the people, will get nothing but more anger.

That’s enough reason for me to share my vote with all of you. I want to move forward as a country, and even though I have plenty of disagreements with their platform, I think the only way to do that is with Harris and Walz.

Vote this week. Turn the page and put this junk behind us.

And even if you disagree with me, vote, because that’s what we do as Americans. https://t.co/eHFZ723I4H

[Matt Sheridan @toonmnky]

@pitchblacksteed If someone says Sausage. Struggle not to say "Sausage? SAUSAGE???!! Damn your eyes and curse your britches!!"

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

Barack Obama's lecture to Black men might be the first time someone told an entire demographic it was grounded

[Ned Hartley @NedHartley]

The UK reactions to this movie is going to deplete the planet's resources of Kenneth Williams gifs.

[Scott Bryan @scottygb]

Unless you’re in the UK, in which case it will be on BBC One at Christmas.

[David Leavitt 🎲🎮🧙‍♂️🌈 @DavidLeavitt]

Donald Trump says he will ban videogames

Retweet if you think he just lost the Millennial and Gen Z vote

[Republicans against Trump @RpsAgainstTrump]

Larry David rips into “sociopath” and “insane” Trump:

“He’s such a little baby that he’s thrown 250 years of democracy out the window by not accepting the results of an election

[Rupert Myers @RupertMyers]

This Paul Merton joke to @amolrajan on @haveigotnews might be the funniest spontaneous joke I’ve ever seen